We are what We wear...

Hello my dears,

Today I want to talk with you about something that’s been on my mind for a long time already. I’ve actually had stickies on my closet with reminders and notes for this subject. 

As you might have notices already, Fashion is a really big deal for me. No matter which route I take I always go back to fashion one way or another. Just like fashion my dreams of fashion are constantly changing, as do my wishes and goals for the future. But some time ago I started wondering: what does fashion actually mean to me?

10 day challenge day 2

My second entry of my 10 day challenge.

As you can see this one is completely different. I have no real experience with how it works in a magazine world, so this is pretty much just how I image how one of my days might look like, without the stress of the job and other things. I know it would be a lot harder though but, it's my fantasy after all ;)

I wake up to my alarm and get out of bed to start my day. I shower, eat breakfast, dress myself in my normal attire for work (which for today contains a dressed pants, blouse with ribbon around the collar, a matching blazer and low heel dress shoes).

When I’m all done dressing and packing my bag I go to work. I work as an editor at a fashion magazine. I love my job. I work with people who are fun to work with, but aren’t afraid they think what you’re doing isn’t good (enough) and instead of letting you hanging after they told you they think it sucks they help you improve it. We aim to challenge each other to get better at what we’re doing. Today we have a meeting with lunch to discuss each other’s work in the latest issue of the magazine. Everybody who works in our team is attending.

After lunch I have a meeting with our own team to discuss what kind of subjects we will be writing on for the upcoming volume. Though the start of the meeting is slow, in the end we gather a lot of idea’s to work on. I love how dedicated everybody is to this job.

After the day finished I go to get dinner with a group of friends. It is a monthly thing we do to keep in contact with each other. We don’t skip it unless we’re home with a serious illness, someone died or something else that is too important to let it pass. Once again dinner is fun. We discuss our work, our projects, our boyfriends and girlfriends and just everything we feel like talking about.

At the end of the night I have a nice little buzz in my head (might have something to do with the 2 glasses of wine I had) and I got to bed with a content feeling.

Moving is a hassle...

Hello my dears,

I'm afraid you'll have to do a bit longer without updates, because I'm moving to a better room <3
I'm going from 11m2 to 21m2 -huge improvement-, from 14 people I don't like/semi like/hardly know to 3 people I really like (and one I have yet to meet). I'm so happy T-T.

When I moved, I might just post pictures of my new room cause I'm going to paint a wall~ .. for the first time in my life, haha.

Well, until after my moving~

Love you

One new hairdo, coming right up!

Hello my dears,

I'm super exited. Like, super super exited. Why? Because the date has finally been decided. The day I'm going to cut my hair! May 30~! I can't wait!

After thinking it over for almost halve a year, I'm finally doing it. I was always super afraid to cut my hair, because its a huge change (for me) and I was scared of changes. But now, already so much changed. I also already had my hair cut around March. It went form small of my back to just below my shoulder blades. It took me some time to get used to. But now I'm ready for the big step. My new hair length will be: somewhere in between the top of my shoulders to my chin. I'm looking super forward to it!

I've been gathering pictures of short hairstyles to get inspiration/ideas. I found lots of cute pictures that I reblogged on my tumbler . But I'm going to ask the hairdresser what she things is the best haircut for me (my sis will be the hairdresser I'm counting on you bis sis!!)

I might miss the pigtails and the braids, but hair will grow back. I don't think I will regret it. I've been wanting to cut my hair for so long now, but like I said I was afraid. Now, seeing all the girls around me cut they're hair, it gives me courage, but the main reason I'm cutting my hair is for me and me only!

It is really funny though, how my old friends are super against me cutting my hair, especially because its going to be so short. One of my friends even tried to forbid me to cut it. Not working *wink*. My new friends all think it will look super good/cute/sexy on me. It makes me feel good that they support me (my old ones as well, I know you do.)

so, May 30 is the day <3 I will post pictures, this time I will for sure <3

Until next time!!

Friends with benefits (read before you judge)

Hello my dear readers,

Today I have a very special something I want to talk about:
Friends with benefits. Now I hear most of you thinking: Omg she wants to talk about having 18+ action with friends/no strings attached. Think again.
No, the Friends with benefits I want to talk about is something completely different then that.

I actually though this up thanks to a friend, to whom I talked with about relations, and of course the sweet messages I got from my dear readers.

When talking to my friend about relations, I told him I kind of think some couples are prisoners of they're relations (my opinion, my view). They must see each other every week/weekend, they have to spend all they're spare time talking on the phone/text messaging/on chat. I got a really strong dislike for must's and have to's. I told him I would like my (future) relations to be more like friends with benefits. Of course his first reaction was "yea, my too, but nobody is really open to that." which is true, if you think of the 18+ kind of "friends with benefits". But, to me, those kind of 18+ things don't really matter, they are not why I want to have a relationship with someone. If I wanted just that I'd take a one night stand or something. All I really want is being loved, love in return, have fun, cuddle, joke, laugh, cuddle some more, hug, laugh some more and those kind of things. To me, those things are already benefits to friendship. Or relationships if the emotion love is involved.

I looked the meaning of "benefit" up in the dictionary to make my point. What is a benefit?
1. something that is advantageous or good; an advantage
2. a payment or gift, as one made to help someone
3. an act of kindness; good deed; benefaction
4. to do good to; be of service to
(source)

So in my opinion friend who hug me, talk to me, have fun with me, laugh with me, who make me feel comfortable are already kind of friends with benefits. Every friend has they're own benefit, if you really look at it.

So to all my dear readers who leave me sweet comments: Thank you for being my friend with benefits.
To all my friends at school: Thank you for being my friend with benefits.
To my future friends: thank you for being my friend with benefits.
And to my future love involved relationship: Thank you for being my friend with benefits who loves me for who I am.

Just me doing an other little rant.
Now I kind of do wonder what your opinion is about this?! Don't be shy and leave a message!

Until next time~

Amsterdam Shopping and others...

Hello everyone *waves cheerfully*

Today is going to be a cheery entry. Because I have a lot of fun things to talk about.

I'm going to start with the most fun thing:
I went shopping in Amsterdam, during the National Glamour day, with Chelle-chan. It was really fun. It took me 4 hours to get to Amsterdam. The trains had problems all over the rail system in Holland. Normally it would take me about 2 and a half our. But now I had to take the bus. And the train made a detour because it couldn't take the direct route. But I still went. I even faced by fear of long bus trips to go shopping with Chelle-chan in Amsterdam, which made me feel really proud of myself.
We actually didn't do a lot of shopping, but I really liked being together with a friend and having fun and talking. I actually got her addicted to Sabon. Something I have been addicted to for about 3 years. She even bought me a mudmask for my b-day (and I'm going to bake her muffins or pie in return).
I bought a black baret which is totally cute <3 And cute PJ's. And a book with the full collection of William Shakespeare. I have been wanting to read Shakespeare for a long time now and this book was only 6.50 euro. It must have been a secret sign that I should start reading Shakespeare, I'm sure.

I cleaned my room the other day. I hear you wondering "That's what you call fun?" Well, yes, actually, I think its fun. Because now my rooms clean and sparkly (not really) and it smells clean, too. And cleaning my room or cleaning the dishes cleans out the chaos in my head. This makes it even more fun to do.
I also did my laundry. Well really nothing special about that, I know. But I got to dry it outside. It was such a wonderful feeling to see my laundry dancing happy on the wind <3.

And I made muffins. I made them for someone on my floor because it was her birthday. I had fun making them and I'm going to make muffins more often. They are apple-cinnamon muffins. They looked really cute when they where just out of the oven. But.. when it was time to eat them they looked all soggy because of the apple inside of it. But they were really yummy. I got a lot of compliments from my housemates so it was worth it all.

So yea I had a lot of fun things this weekend. It all made me feel really happy and content.

This week I'm going to have my first Kanji lesson, which is actuarly cute scary. But I'm sure I can do it. I got great friends that will help me get through it all.
I love you girls and guys <3

Thats all for today.

*Waves* Bai Bai
Chibiohimesama

Sometimes...

Hi there,

I just want to write a little, so here I go.

I had a small panic attack today, followed by a hyperventilating attack that lasted from 1 pm to 7.30 pm or something. I'm used to having small panic attacks. I just try to stay as calm as possible. If I start panicking it just gets worse. But the hyperventilation was awful.
My mom and sister both have hyperventilation, where they have big attacks. So I know what they are. I already had small ones. But because I know what they are I could control those. But this one was big, really big, it was really awful.

What caused this panic and hyperventilation? I can't help but be slightly ashamed of it, but a classmate caused it. An absent classmates. While we were having a presentation in class.
And the stress of having our first real Japanese speaking class, with a real Japanese teacher, along with the fear of not doing it right, and failing.

Now something like this really shouldn't cause me to hyperventilate, should it? It really shouldn't. But it does. Now I do have to admit there's a lot more to the classmate story then just the above, but I'm not going to post it all on the internet.

And I have a huge fear of failure. My failure. My thoughts behind that are these:
If I fail something I will look stupid and people will think I'm stupid and not like me and thus I will end up alone.
Stupid? Yes. I can't get out of this way of thinking as fast as I wish I could, but luckily I at least know I'm not the only one with this way of thinking. And I know failure won't mean people will start disliking me. It helps.... but I still fear failing.

On the bright side:
I had a great birthday <3
I got 'happy birthday' wishes from a lot of friends (which makes me feel really loved)
A friend all but dragged me to go and get 'friet' with her friends (she didn't want me to be alone on my birthday).
And after I got home a housemate had baked me a pie <3 (we ate it with the whole house)

It was my first birthday away from home. And at first I was really sad. Because of personal reasons we're not celebrating my birthday until... November? That got me really sad (even if it means that in November we will get the whole family together). But this totally made my day. <3

I also want to say I miss my friends from my old school, I think of you a lot <3
And I really like my new friends, the ones I made at my new school. I hope we will have a fun school period together <3

Chibiohimesama