woensdag 29 december 2010
I've been reading a lot lately, about self acceptence, self love and self healing.
I always go from one site to an other, being redirected to redirictions.
While reading "The playgirl's guide to radical self love" I found a lot of things that will hopefully help me to learn to love myself a bit more (I'm a big self hating, no matter what people think of me, or how much I pretend loving myself).
Here are 2 video's I want to share with you:
Katie Makkai - Pretty
Learn a little about love from an Angel...
I hope you find them just as magical and helpfull as I do.
Hopefully somday I will learn to love myself and accept myself. Wish me luck <3
zondag 5 december 2010
And yes I know it has been a long time.
I have had little to post about.
I want to present to you *drum sounds*
the proof that I'm NOT in ANYWAY a HELLO KITTY ADDICT <3
See? Not a hello kitty addict at all <3
THEY"RE SO CUTE <3
Bought them in a special hello kitty/sanrio goodybag for only 9.95 euro <3 (with lots other stuff, so no, i didn't pay 9.95 for only this).
I wan't to put them where I can see them BUT I don't want to waste them T-T
good thing there are doubles and most of them are even double-doubles <3 so yay <3
Well thats it for today <3 Did I prove I'm not a hello kitty addict at all???
M sure I did <3
See you next time <3
woensdag 3 november 2010
Yes I know, I have been really inactive with my blog.
Schoolwork is taking up all my time. And I'm going to try to get a job, too, so I'll be even more timeless, haha.
I'm really enjoying things right now. I wanna go and do things with friends (an urge I have never ever had in my live, before).
I have my ups and downs still, but, I feel like its going better.
Anyways, the reason I wanted to write:
I had a milk mask this evening.
A Milk mask, you might ask? Yes a milk mask. Well, what do you need for a milk mask.....
well pretty much just... milk.. maybe some brown suger... but thats it!!
Isn't it perfect??? I'm going to use it more often.
And that was pretty much it for today,
Love my friends *big hug*
woensdag 13 oktober 2010
Today is just a little quick post with some drawings/designs I made in class.
I made them thinking about my favorite thing.
I hope you enjoy them.
I really love these designs.
I'll probebly end up making every one of them.
If I do I'll post pictures of the outcome.
Thats it for now
Disclaimer: these drawings/designs have been made by me (chibiohimesama). Noone is allowed to use them!
woensdag 6 oktober 2010
Today I have some weird happy things to post about. Weirder then normal? Well, yes, to some of you it might be weird.
I'm at the moment completely happy about my first time making~ *drum sounds* ~ Sprouts!
Yes, sprouts <3 Those greene little vegtebles so many people hate. I love them. And my very first time making them turned out great <3 they were yummy.
I felt good about making homework. I actuarly understood what the book said, which was great.
O and we had our first Kanji lesson today. Asusa-sensei is a great teacher. She teaches in a really fun way that makes you remember things way easier then the boring book stuff. I gave her muffins yesterday, as a thank you because she borrowed me her NaNa magazine. Which was a really great magazine. I love the Japanese fashion.
And~ I aparently gave a HUGE compliment to one of my clasmates. I was looking at the pictures in my Kera (June 2010) magazine and there was this one model that reminded me of that clasmate. So today I took the magazine with me and told that clasmate that model reminded me of her. She was totally hounered by it. Really cute <3. After that we started squeeling about all the cute cloths and hot/sexy/cute models in the magazine, haha.
It was fun.
And I should really be doing homework right now, haha...
Well I'll be off to do homework now.
*waves* Bai Bai
maandag 4 oktober 2010
Today is going to be a cheery entry. Because I have a lot of fun things to talk about.
I'm going to start with the most fun thing:
I went shopping in Amsterdam, during the National Glamour day, with Chelle-chan. It was really fun. It took me 4 hours to get to Amsterdam. The trains had problems all over the rail system in Holland. Normally it would take me about 2 and a half our. But now I had to take the bus. And the train made a detour because it couldn't take the direct route. But I still went. I even faced by fear of long bus trips to go shopping with Chelle-chan in Amsterdam, which made me feel really proud of myself.
We actually didn't do a lot of shopping, but I really liked being together with a friend and having fun and talking. I actually got her addicted to Sabon. Something I have been addicted to for about 3 years. She even bought me a mudmask for my b-day (and I'm going to bake her muffins or pie in return).
I bought a black baret which is totally cute <3 And cute PJ's. And a book with the full collection of William Shakespeare. I have been wanting to read Shakespeare for a long time now and this book was only 6.50 euro. It must have been a secret sign that I should start reading Shakespeare, I'm sure.
I cleaned my room the other day. I hear you wondering "That's what you call fun?" Well, yes, actually, I think its fun. Because now my rooms clean and sparkly (not really) and it smells clean, too. And cleaning my room or cleaning the dishes cleans out the chaos in my head. This makes it even more fun to do.
I also did my laundry. Well really nothing special about that, I know. But I got to dry it outside. It was such a wonderful feeling to see my laundry dancing happy on the wind <3.
And I made muffins. I made them for someone on my floor because it was her birthday. I had fun making them and I'm going to make muffins more often. They are apple-cinnamon muffins. They looked really cute when they where just out of the oven. But.. when it was time to eat them they looked all soggy because of the apple inside of it. But they were really yummy. I got a lot of compliments from my housemates so it was worth it all.
So yea I had a lot of fun things this weekend. It all made me feel really happy and content.
This week I'm going to have my first Kanji lesson, which is actuarly cute scary. But I'm sure I can do it. I got great friends that will help me get through it all.
I love you girls and guys <3
Thats all for today.
*Waves* Bai Bai
woensdag 29 september 2010
As the title says this entry is about stress.
Something I am, sadly, dealing with right now. And not just this moment, no, I have been dealing with it for the past one and a half, maybe two years. And its really frustrating.
Stress makes me sad. Stress makes me tired. Stress makes me even more stressed and stress hurts my body...
It makes me feel insecure, it makes me feel like everything I do takes a big chunk of energy out of me. It makes it hard to focus.
There are lots of things that stress me out right now.
Not being able to follow school all to well because of stress is one of them. Why can't I follow school all to well because of the stress? Because stress makes me tired. Which, in turn, makes that I stress about not being able to follow school. Do you notice the lovely little spiral in this?
Not being sure about the people around me is an other stress factor. And I don't mean my friends (and some of the classmates I already consider friend) but the people outside my little friend bubble. There are just some people I can't handle right now and that gives me stress as well. Like some of my housemates. Or some other people.
Homework kind of gives me stress to. I really need to make a list on the things I should make, because I keep forgetting (being extra chaotic is a side effect of stress, too) and then I end up stressed because I forgot to make it.
And the 'best' thing about stress? It can leave its mark on you for about half a year, sometimes even a year. Yay, great.
I'm really happy that I have so many people supporting me. They keep me going and keep me from being a coward and running away. Love you girls (and guys).
On a happier note. I really love my Japanese classes. The Japanese teachers are all really nice and I love the way they teach us they're language. I am trying my best with studying.
Living on my own is going really well as well. I love cooking. When I have time I am going to try out baking too.
Thats it for now,
donderdag 23 september 2010
I'm confuseld. Yesterday really upset me and now I've gone to school 2 hours earlier then my first class because I was SURE it said 8.45... which it doesn't....
And I don't like being alone...
O well, I guess things like this happen to everyone. Hopefully today will be a better then then yesterday. And I really hope I don't start hyperventilating in my Japanese class. I'm really afraid of that right now...
Wish me good luck?
(ps. Yes confused is written wrong and yes I did it on purpous)
woensdag 22 september 2010
I just want to write a little, so here I go.
I had a small panic attack today, followed by a hyperventilating attack that lasted from 1 pm to 7.30 pm or something. I'm used to having small panic attacks. I just try to stay as calm as possible. If I start panicking it just gets worse. But the hyperventilation was awful.
My mom and sister both have hyperventilation, where they have big attacks. So I know what they are. I already had small ones. But because I know what they are I could control those. But this one was big, really big, it was really awful.
What caused this panic and hyperventilation? I can't help but be slightly ashamed of it, but a classmate caused it. An absent classmates. While we were having a presentation in class.
And the stress of having our first real Japanese speaking class, with a real Japanese teacher, along with the fear of not doing it right, and failing.
Now something like this really shouldn't cause me to hyperventilate, should it? It really shouldn't. But it does. Now I do have to admit there's a lot more to the classmate story then just the above, but I'm not going to post it all on the internet.
And I have a huge fear of failure. My failure. My thoughts behind that are these:
If I fail something I will look stupid and people will think I'm stupid and not like me and thus I will end up alone.
Stupid? Yes. I can't get out of this way of thinking as fast as I wish I could, but luckily I at least know I'm not the only one with this way of thinking. And I know failure won't mean people will start disliking me. It helps.... but I still fear failing.
On the bright side:
I had a great birthday <3
I got 'happy birthday' wishes from a lot of friends (which makes me feel really loved)
A friend all but dragged me to go and get 'friet' with her friends (she didn't want me to be alone on my birthday).
And after I got home a housemate had baked me a pie <3 (we ate it with the whole house)
It was my first birthday away from home. And at first I was really sad. Because of personal reasons we're not celebrating my birthday until... November? That got me really sad (even if it means that in November we will get the whole family together). But this totally made my day. <3
I also want to say I miss my friends from my old school, I think of you a lot <3
And I really like my new friends, the ones I made at my new school. I hope we will have a fun school period together <3
zondag 19 september 2010
It's just a short post today.
But I wanted to tell you all about a place that's really special to me.
I always look forward for the time I can take my place in this little spot again. I regret the times I have to say goodbye to that spot, even if I know that spot will return. I look forward to this place for me almost every day of the year. Because I really feel it's that special little spot just for me. I can forget, I can have fun, I can be happy and sparkly and be me. It's a very nice spot.
It's the little spot I fill when I'm working as a Maid in the Dutch Maid Cafe at the anime conventions in Holland. It's my little spot at Sparkling Potpourri.
I might not be the best maid, or the cutest. But I love my little spot as a Sparkling Potpourri maid with all my heart and I hope I can keep on being a Sparkling Potpourri maid for many many many years to come.
I just wanted to tell the world how much I love my little spot.
If you can, please come see us at one of the dutch conventions and help me and the rest of the maids to stay with you for many many many years.
donderdag 16 september 2010
I wanted to write a bit about 'the here and now' for me.
Why I want to write about something like that? Because it is really important to me to live in the here and now, instead of the past, or the future.
I used to live in the past. I used to think about all the things I did wrong, all the things that where good and all the things I wanted to return too.
There's a lot I wanted to change. I wanted to change that I never played with children my age. I wanted to change that I never paid attention in class. I wanted to change that no one liked me, no matter how hard I tried to have them like me.
I wanted to correct all the errors I made with friends. I wanted to re-do all the bad grades I got. I wanted to be better.
I wanted to return to the happy innocent days of my childhood, where I'd sit in a little circle with all my plush and have a tea party, a school or a therapy session because my bear was o-so-sad.
I wanted to return to the happy days with a dear friend of me who I chased away.
But the past is something that happened. The past is something that was. The past can never be again. What if's and I should have done it differently's won't get you anywhere. The past is the past and will always be nothing but the past. Happy memories, sad memories. Things that have been.
I don't know when it happened but I got to a point where I accepted this. Its okay like this. I can't change that which has been, but I can learn from my mistakes. And I will.
I've spend days thinking of the future. As a child you think of what you're doing to be, what your doing to do. I wanted to be a fish breeder or a cat breeder. I wanted to be a Prima Ballerina. I wanted to be a Cello soloist. I wanted to be perfect, I wanted to be a fashion designer, I wanted to be.... There's so many things. So many things I wanted to be.
But have you ever thought of being happy and healthy, having a place in the world that you like? It would be strange, no? To be asked what you want to be and answer "I want to be happy and healthy". Even though its something we all want to be, you never hear one say it when asked what they want to be. But in that long long list of things you want to be, isn't being happy and healthy the most important thing? I think it is.
Maybe we should all start answering we want to be happy and healthy when someone asks us what we want to be and say what we want to do, or become, when they ask us what we want to do, or become.
And because I want to be happy and healthy, I started to live in the now. I want to work on the me in the current time, not the future, or the past. Now is the only time we have right now. So thats the time we should live our life's in, or at least that's my opinion.
So I'm going to do my best in school. I'm going to study hard and get good grades. I'm going to try and live healthy, eating healthy, drinking a lot of water and taking the bike instead of the bus, even when its raining.
And most importantly, I'm going to work on the Me I have now. I'm going to learn from my past and change what I can so I won't make the same mistakes again. I'm going to work hard for a pretty, happy and healthy future. I'm going to work for a place in the future that is just for me. And I'm doing so day by day, month by month. I'm doing so in the here and now.
And that is why the here and now is so important to me.
I wonder what your opinion is.
Thats it for now.
Back to my studies.
woensdag 15 september 2010
I just felt like writing this early morning.
I'm feeling happy right now. I'm loving being on my own, having my own things to take care of and not having all kinds of people bossing me around and telling me what I should and should not do. It feels like freedom (even with all the homework) to be able to do my own thing, live my own pace.
I'm feeling better now. Better then I did half a year ago. Or even year ago. Intern really wasn't a nice experience for me. I was already afraid of the intern because my last inturn didn't go all to well. Because of personal reasons and a huge miscommunication I got kicked out of my first internship. The second internship was nice, the people were nice to me, but I hardly did anything other then pulling out threats and stitches.
Because of that I got introduced to a Comstume/Carnival atelier. So I could learn to make special cloths and costumes. But in truth it was a Costume/Carnival RENTAL and a change/repair atelier. I stayed there because I wanted to finish the inturn, prove myself I could do it. Though I have to say I learned a few new tricks there and that the lady and her husband where nice to me, the inturn period messed me up. They both didn't say things directly and didn't show their emotions, at all (she looked moody when talking in a sugery laced voice to her grandchild).
That is why I think you should always be direct to people about things that bother you. Not in a rude way, but in a polite but direct way, after or during the happening of the annoyance. Don't let it bottle up inside and then let it out when the other person maybe already forgot about it.
That's what happened with them. After a while I started always worrying if I did everything okay, or if they where mad at me without me knowing. It really damaged my trust in people, my self-worth and self confidence.
And the exama pretty much ruined my love for making/designing cloths. Why? I didn't do my thing during my exams. I was so focused on doing what I thought other people expected of me, what I knew would get me the right grades to pass the exam, that I forgot to do my own thing with my collection and, more importantly even, have FUN during the process of making my collection.
For those who haven't followed it: I am now a graduated tailored fashion specialist and during my exam I had to make a perfectly tailored and costom made collection existing out of 5 clothing pieces. For me that was a bodysuit, a (plastic see-trough) jacket, a waist pants, a top, a dress and a gilet.
The exams, my not doing my own thing and just everything together ruined my love for making cloths. It took me quite a while to recover from that. I was afraid to finish the maid costumes I've been entrusted with, as well as the Princess Princess (anime) dress that I was asked to make. I had lost all confidence in myself.
So you should always do what feels best, what feels right to you. Don't just do things because other people expect you to do it, it will only make you feel bad and ruin the love you have for the things you're doing.
I've gotten it back now. My self confidence, my wanting to do my own thing, my trust in me. I have really enjoyed finishing the maid costumes and the Princess Princess dress. I'm even thinking of making my own cloths again, not just costumes. Living on my own really did me well. I'm growing up a bit, learning new things and discovering new things. I'm becoming a bit more me each day. And I love it. I love me!
I want to write about the maid costumes next time. Maybe I will.
I have to go to school now though :) I wish you all a happy day.
And remember: Always do what feels right and follow your heart.
zondag 12 september 2010
This little princess has been a busy little princess these past few weeks.
Like you might have read in earlier posts, I've started the new chapters of my lige called: A new study, as well as the chapter called: Living on my own.
I wanted to tell you a bit about both of them.
A new study.
2 Weeks ago i started my new study. For those who are wondering, I am studying Japanese. We're going to be educated to be an intermediary in English-Japanese International businesses.
The first week was the introduction week. We met our classmated and some really nice second graders showed us around the school. I have to say I really like my class.
We're all rally different from eachother, but we get long quite well. At least I think we do. I relaly like it that we al have a love for the Japanese language. I think it is because of that, that we get along so well. I hope we all become friends, somewhat, and will have a nice school period.
The second week we had our first classes. It was really different from what I'm used to, as i have studied (and graduated) to become a tailored/costom made cloths specialist before. It's a lot of theoratical stuff and a lot more homework then I'm used to. But even so I'm having a lot of fun. I'm discovering new parts of myself. And I really like studying from books a lot.
I can't wait untill we get started in our real Japanese study books. We are going to use the Japanese study books called: Minna no Nihongo (みんなの日本語). I'm really excited about going to use them. I have to admit that up untill now I only know the Hirigana (and it takes me a bit to recognize them when I'm reading a text, BUT I'm already quite happy about how well it's going). I was studying my Katakana when I decided I needed to put an entry on my blog <3.
Living on my own.
Now living on my own is a whole lot different from what I expected it to be. Sure I have a lot of fun taking care of myself, doing my own cooking and having a place (a whole 11 square meter) to call my own. But the housemate thing is a bit tricky every now and then.
Now don't get me wrong, I have housemates that are really nice. But some of them are a bit... messy. And I really like clean. And most of my housemates are really outgoing people, they go out, drink, have parties and the likes. And I don't go out, drink (a lot) or do just the general student stuff. But it's just the start of the school year so who knows how that will turn out to be later on.
I'm doing really well with cooking and cleaning my own (and sometimes my floor mates) dishes. The problem is doing my own laundry. Not that I don't know how to do it, because I do. But we have to buy coins for the washing machine (it's a coin operated machine). and the coin gives us 3 hours to wash. Now for the problem: I Don't have enough cloths to put in the washine machine for 3 hours (we can do 2 laundry's in 2 hours) in one week. But on the other hand I don't have enough cloths to NOT do my laundry at least once a week. So thats a thing I have to kind of figure out.
Well that's about it for the new chapters of my storie. That is, unless you want to add the chapter: Current obsessions. I founf the site of the @home maid cafe by accident and have been hooked up on it ever since. I totally love the way it looks and the way it shows the profiles of the totally cute maids. I really want to go to the @home cafe if I go to Japan. And I looked at the blogs some of the maids have. I saw most of the blogs use a lot of Hirigana and little kanji. So i figured I could maybe use this little overly sweet addiction to help me keep up with reading Hirigana (and the kanji they use).
Just so you don't worry, I only look at it when I have finished my homework.
I think that's all for today. I should get some more tea and study the rest of my katakana now.
I hope you enjoyed this little update on the chapters of my life.
dinsdag 24 augustus 2010
Its been a while, I know. A lot has been happening lately.
I moved to life closer to my new school. I'm really exited to get started.
I met up with the friends I'm leavin behind in my birth town and old school. Though we will keep in touch (for sure, I'll never forget my best friends).
And I had an operation. Nothing big, just my tonsils being removed. I'm still recovering from it. And to be honest its really frustrating I'm not recovering as fast as I wish I would. I had a lot of friends wishing me a quick recovery and a lot of them offering to come by, as well. Though I haven't been feeling quite good enough to have visitors. I want to talk to much, which I really can't.
There are going to be a lot of new things in my live the upcoming month. I'm fearing them, but also looking forward to them. As where I move away from my old friends, I'm going to meet new people. I graduated from one school and am going to start at a new one. I'll be having a lot of new experiences and hopefully a lot of fun. I'm really really looking forward to it.
I learned a lot these past few months. I think I might even have become a slightly different person. I'm still me, but I learned, grew and changed. And it feels great. I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming me more and more. And I love it. And I really want to thank the people who have guided, protected and helped me find my way up till now. And I hope a lot of them will keep helping my find my way through my next stage of life.
I'm loving the moments I have now. And I'm going to love the moments I will have from now on.
donderdag 12 augustus 2010
As the title says I'm working on my new story, the new story of my live.
I'm having a lot of fun "writing" my own story now. I moved into my room for studie last weekend. It was scary but also a lot of fun. I look forward to my new studie. It is going to bring me a lot of oppertunities and new experiences, which are going to be scary, but will most likely turn out to be a lot of fun and/or great learning experience.
I've been reading a lot of blogs lathely, of friends and of other people, and I've learned a lot from those. I'm working on myself a lot, learning about myself a lot with the tips in those blogs, the tips of those people. And having a lot of fun doing so.
Even if there are ups and downs, I don't mind the downs a lot anymore. There not as scary anymore and that makes me really excited to keep going and learning new things.
donderdag 5 augustus 2010
I had 2 things I normal dislike more then anything, and I actuarly enjoyed them.
Am I finaly learning positive thinking?
The first was at work. I had to vacume clean the building (which is a lot of ground to cover) for little fluffy things had taken over the work floor (from a nearby tree). Normaly I really really dislike vacume cleaning. But today? I turned the job into "attack of the white fluff" and "hunted" down the white fluffy "enemy". I turned something I dislike in something funny. I was done in no time at all.
The second thing was while I was biking home. There was this HUGE black cloud coming in. I had seen it when I got on my bike but I was hoping it wouldn't rain. But of course, it did. And it rained hard. I couldn't see a hand before me at one point, so I stopped under a tree and waited for a bit. It didn't stop but it got a little bit better. I decided to just get it over with and bike home. And you know what? I actuarly enjoyed the rain. I was completely wet, even my socks where wet (and my boots are pretty water resistend). But I enjoyed it, really enjoyed it. I was imagening myself twirling around and around in the pretty water sparkles.
Hows that for positive thinking? It made me really happy to realise I didn't think any bad of those things today.
I once read that "positive thinking is the key to happiness". And you know what? I'm starting to believe its true! So lets ALL try to think positive and see the happy things in life.
zondag 1 augustus 2010
- 'Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, Kitty? How nice and soft it sounds! Just as if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again." And when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress themselves in all greenm and dance about - whenever the wind blows - oh, that's verry pretty!' cried Alice, dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. 'And I do so wish it was true! 'm sure the woods look sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting brown.' -
Wouldn't it be wonderfull if it, indeed, where true? And wouldn't it be wonderfull to be able to think about things like the way Alice does in the book? How she sees something special in everything, or else imagens it to be so?
Lets be like Alice. "Let's pretend".
vrijdag 30 juli 2010
* Finding a new book to read
* Finding a new blog to read
* Finding pretty pictures
* Having a nice/fun day at work
* Finishing something I had problems with
* Being told I did good on something
* Being in a cuddly mood
* Cuddling with my Hello Kitty Panda plushie
* Getting hugs when I'm in a cuddly mood
* The feeling I get after a nice shower
* The feeling I get when I lay in fresh bedsheets
* Even more so after I cleaned my room
* A nice/fun day with friends
* Knowing my friends care
* Having a nice dream
* Thinking about the nice dream all day
zondag 25 juli 2010
Lately I've been finding it very hard to make decisions. I even tend to not make any decisions at all just because I'm very scared of making them.
As I am beginning to get quite sick of being so indecisive I wanted to write something about it. To find out the reason why I am being so indecisive and what I can do about it. Before writing this I actually did a little googling and thinking about this subject.
I think the most important question to ask about being indecisive is why?
Why am I being so indecisive? It's really easy to say "Just because I am" but there's always a reason behind it. It could be because one is insecure about the decision, or out of fear of the consequences and possible regret. It could also be because there are too many decisions to make, to many options or even to little information on the alternatives.
I found out it's really hard to find out the reason why you do the things you do. We tend to hide those things about ourselves. But when you want to work on things like this you'll have to get out of your safety zones and be honest about the real why's.
For me it's the fear of consequences and regret. Now that I've admitted that to myself, I can try and work out a way to make it easier to make decisions.
*The best way to fight indecisiveness is to be decisive.
Annoying as it might be its true. Avoiding decisions won't make them go away. It will only make them accumulate and it will only get harder the longer you wait. Writing them down helps. That way you can keep track of your decisions, the ones you've made and the ones you have yet to make.
*Don't rush into making decisions.
Take your time to make a decision. Don't make decisions under stress. You'll probably end up regretting it. Being impulsive might work for some, but it's important to put some thought in the decisions your making. Talk about it with other people to get there opinions on it, but don't let them push you into making a certain decision.
*Make sure you look into all the options.
Making a decision without having looked into all the options will most likely end up in regret as well. Write down all your options and cancel out the ones you decide against. That way you'll shorten the list of options and you'll know for sure you've put enough thought in it to be able to make the right decision for yourself. Don't over think it though, to much thinking can also lead to indecisiveness.
*What is the worst thing that could happen if you make this or that decision?
Now you don't want to think of doom scenarios that will very unlikely to happen. But think about it rationally. What IS the worst thing that could happen? If that where to happen, is it really that bad? Will it outweigh the good things of the decision you're going to make? And what about short term effect and long term effects? Really think about the pro's and con's of the decision you make and write those down. If the pro's outweigh the con's that might just be the right decision to make for yourself.
*Act out the decisions you've made.
If you're sure its the right decision to make then don't let others talk you out of de decisions you've made (unless your suicidal or wanting to hurt other people, then please do let others talk you out of it). If you're a really insecure person like me it's really easy to let others talk you out of things. But in the end you're most likely to regret it. And taking the same decision again will only by harder the second time around.
This is probably the hardest part of making decisions. As with all things in life we have responsibilities we must take. Taking responsibilities for your decisions is just one of those things. Whether it turned out good or bad, we have to accept the consequences or the decisions we make.
Now unless we have to make decisions for a company, decision making is all about ourselves. We have to make a decision that feels right to us and that is right for us. You can't always prevent others from being hurt in your decision making. We should always try to hurt others as little as possible while making our decisions but sometimes it just can't be helped.
And those are today's thoughts of a little princess
zondag 18 juli 2010
Everybody gets jealous every now and then in various degrees, for various reasons. Some people get jealous of someone who has a cuter shirt, or at someone who gets better grades then they themselves do. Some get jealous over boyfriends or attention others get from certain people.
I think being unhappy or not liking or even not loving yourself is the biggest reason someone is jealous of someone else. Why else would we look at someone and dislike them for something we don't have ourselves.
A friend of mine wrote a little piece of advice someone gave her on her blog: "Being jealous, thinking negative, its all a safe place for is. Instead of becoming jealous, is it not better to think of that person as a role model? Instead of 'I want to be skinny as her' thinking 'she does a lot of dancing, I should copy her moves!'".
I think it's a really good advice and it really got me thinking. What do those people I'm jealous of do to get those things I'm jealous off? I've decided to make a list of all those things other people do to achieve those things I'm jealous of. Maybe I'll try to copy them, to see if i could achieve something quite like it. I might not become quite as good as them, But that won't be the point anymore then. The point would be doing something to achieve something I like. Or maybe I'll find out it's not worth the effort. If it means I have to do things against my believes, or even something that damages me or the people around me, it's just not worth becoming something like them.
Like I said, I think being unhappy about yourself is the main reason we get jealous. So in order to stop being jealous, we should start liking ourselves more. We should start being happy about ourselves and proud of what we already have. Maybe we will even realize we have a lot more then we thought, maybe even have something we where jealous off to begin with.
So I'm making a list about what is good about me and what other people could envy about me! I've never thought about it much before. But I have good qualities just as much as everyone else does. Up until now I've only seen my own faults and what I don't have. I didn't see what made me special.
I'm going to sit in frond of the mirror and write down the things i like about my face, my hair and my body and I'm going to be proud of it. I'm going to think about what I'm good at and about what I achieved so far and I'm going to be proud of it. I'm going to think about all my good habits and character treats. And I'm going to be so very much proud of it all, there'll hardly be any reason to be jealous anymore, at all.
And these are today's thoughts of a little princess,
maandag 12 juli 2010
I think, one is always trying to find oneself, or an aspect of oneself.
And as so many others, I too, am trying to find myself. Its a hard journey with a lot of scary and sad events, but luckily there are also funny and happy events.
Theres a lot of falling down. But for each falling down theres a standing up and getting stronger if your willing to learn from your mistakes. I always find falling down on my road of life the scariest thing. More then once I'm afraid to get up because if I get up, I can fall again. There have been moments I was so afraid of falling down that I didn't even try to get up anymore. Though now I'm just a tad wiser then I was before. And I discovered falling down isn't quite as bad as I thought it might be. Because not getting up and not moving on is even scarier then falling down. The longer you wait to get up, the harder it gets.
Theres a lot of learning, too. Learning from your mistakes and learning by listening to other people and there mistakes. Learning from books, learning from the Internet (it really did open a whole new world of learning for us) learning from our elders and learning from our youngsters.
An important lesson I have learned is that it is very important to listen to everything you hear and look at everything you see. There could always be something interesting in each and every event or conversation or happening we encounter. Of course it is our own decision which information we use, which information we will store away for later use and which information isn't of importance to us.
An other important lesson I learned is to always be true to oneself. Finding oneself means trying to find that which makes you you. Not trying to find what others think that makes you you.
I lied a lot to myself (and others) to mold me to other peoples wishes, even if it went against my believes. I've tried to forget and I've tried to act out parts. And I have done so many other things just to be part of a group. All in all it was just an other lesson to be learned. Cause now I know the true importance of really being true to yourself no matter what others think of it. In the end you are the only thing that will always be with you all your life.
I have got my interest in Lolita back, I've got a book addiction I'm finally proud of and I'm trying to read into everything that I find interesting, even if its a tad weird, because I like to do so. I'm no longer trying to be what others tell me to be with all my might and I'm trying to embrace every learning experience given to me (even if there still scary to experience sometimes).
And these are todays thoughts of a little princess,
maandag 28 juni 2010
Sometimes I try to wake up early. Near daybreak, it's as if the blue atmosphere of the early morning has been forcefully pierced and cracked. It's a morning so early that only the newspaper delivery person and the nightshift laborer know of it, and even the elderly have not yet gotten out of bed. While watching the test pattern on the television, I dress myself impeccably, because, well, it's the beginning of a new day. On the first train there are a few people here and there. From the train there are hardly any shadows of cars on the highway, and the shutters of the shopfronts are closed, and the pileup of trashbags seems strangely exhilirating, as I wonder if I will ever get used to this morning scenery.
"Art is made at night," is what they used to say in the olden days. But, we're going to have to abandon these superstitions. Back then, a free evening was quite a priveledge. But now, the common people have fallen into the hand of the night. As the last train passes through, people overflow into the town. That's not to say that these are the types that are overly conscious of the night. The superstition about the night carries some power, but only a little due to a sense of delinquency. Since nowadays the night features a kind of democracy, where you can go to the same places in the afternoon that you can at night, that decadence has been lost. So, with this in mind, I'm guessing that it would work if our lovely decadent places were established in the early morning.
Now that the vulgarity of the night is over, there's that moment of stillness before rush hour begins. We are young ladies, and there has been no creation of a new place of morning decadence. If we went out at night, Papa and Mama would scold us. But, I don't think they could find fault with us for leaving very early in the morning. The mobilization of sound, like classical thought. In the present day it's good to be broad minded enough to overly drink it in, and this is the most hazardous form of decadance. After this, art will be created in the morning. If you think you want to be an artist, from now on abandon the legend of drinking alcohol at night, and in the mornings start to drink coffee with milk. As the pidgeons in the morning park flutter away, you drink fresh coffee with milk, and your heart jumps with a sense of genuine inversion. However, this essence of imitation is true decadence, and with it, you cannot become a proper, beautiful maiden.
To be truly high class, the morning must have the essence of a neat and clean atmosphere, one which draws out a reaction of decadence. It is much, much more difficult to command the morning as it is to command the night. There are benefits to always waking up early. For example, going on a date. You make an appointment at a coffee shop, and for the price of a cup of coffee, you can buy an entire breakfast, then directly afterwards you can go to go to the park or the shops as they open. The movie theatres also offer early morning discounts, which is of course a benefit if you are cheap. If you wake up early in the morning you will sleep through the night, and avoid the indecency of the nighttime shows on television, and if you don't stay up late, your skin will become lovely and smooth. Go to bed at about nine o'clock, and rise at five am. This is the most attractive lifestyle. I'm going to do my best to do this, so I implore you to also give it all of your effort.
Translated by Curi
zaterdag 1 mei 2010
I really can't believe I finally have one (I remember saying I'd never get one) but... I have one.
Yes, even I have finally made myself a twitter account : http://twitter.com/ChibiOhimeSama
It might just come in handy someday when I have new clothing to show, or something els. Who knows.
So... I haven't had a real entry anymore for a few weeks (I promised to post some things but I ended up never posting them. To little time, really). I've been working extremely hard on my exams collection (which is not working the way I wished it did) and on the costums for the upcoming anime convention (http://www.animecon.nl/). I'm glad I almost finished the maid costumes for the SP maids. We are going to be working as some kind of mascots at the animecon. I am really looking forward to it.
The other costumes ,though, I'm a bit worried about.
I have bought the Hardcover Bookset of The Twilight Sage. I was hooked after so much as 2 chapters of the first book. If you haven't read it yet, you might want to consider it. I totally love the series.
I have also grown to love a clothing brand : Tally weijl (http://www.tally-weijl.com/).
I am actually as crazy as to travel 2 and a half hours to get to a store of the brand. They have a really nice fit of pants, and the coolest shirts (no offense but I'll pick tally weijl over H&M any day). Friday I bought this really cute shirt with snow white (Disney) on it.
And I think that is about it for today.
Till next time
dinsdag 20 april 2010
I'm totally collecting them.
Its called Miffie in other countries, if I'm not mistaking.
The bruna (a dutch bookstore) is giving them away again. There called "Wens Nijntjes" or "Geluks Nijntjes" (or in English that would be Wish Miffies and Luck Miffies).
As you can see I have attached them at my mobile phone. Aren't they adorable???
Its a thing that makes me happy at the moment :D
woensdag 24 februari 2010
Finally after half a year of no free days besides the holidays like Christmas and such, I finally finally finally have a week of no school~ it feel so great~
I finally get to do some things I have been wanting to do for quite some time. Like starting on fixing the maid costumes, making new maid costumes for the new maids and Marimite school uniform costumes we are most likely going to wear to the dutch yaoi con.
I got a few totally cool things this week.
Like the Kera magazines I ordered at the Nakano web shop. I have ordered my gothic lolita bibles there before, but sins I want to look at more styles then just gothic and lolita I have started ordering Kera as well (if they have Egg and Razuki and magazines like that I would probably order them as well)
I had to get a few things in town today and because I didn't feel like going home just yet I went to a few other stores. And they just had some of the cutest things. Like these hello kitty buttons. I just can't help it. I'm a bit of a hello kitty addict. I wanna use this buttons on shirts for my exams collection, so I feel a bit less guilty about buying them.
And while going into my favorite cheap bookshop I found a book about fashion. And the thoughts behind it. Which is something I have been wondering about lately so it must have been ment to be or something haha.
Being a total Hello Kitty addict I subscribed to the Happy Newsletter (or something along those lines) at Sanrio.com. And with doing that I got a free Hello Kitty calender download. And it is just the cutest calender ever. And a perfect calender to cross away the days I have left until I have to do my collection presentation. I have to present the idea's I had for my collection to a group of teachers and professionals. And honestly? I have no idea what to do yet T-T.
Well sins I can't upload any more pictures at the moment I am going to stop here :)
Till next time *waves*
zondag 7 februari 2010
One of the things I am going to do is write an entry on my visiting the open days of the AMFI in Amsterdam last Saturday. I have to say I had a lot of fun and I got an better idea of what I want to do after I've graduated from this school.
For school I have to keep working hard on my exams, which are coming along quite fine if you ask me (but its only been the first week, so who knows) I decided on the brand name I am going to use for my collection. O-Hime-Sama, or OHS for short. Cool no??? Just now I had this really cool idea for a logo, too. Now I still have to think of the kind of collection I want to design under it. Its so hard having to use a fashion prognoses.
And tomorrow we're getting cake baked by one of my school friends. Why you may ask? She and I made this deal that if I 'saved' her from having to go eat fast food with some of our other friends (they go to this snack bar 3 times a week), she would buy me cake. Well she baked it, actually, but cake is cake, and cake is something I love. I'll tell how the cake was, if we life to tell the tale (she always says eating home made food by her is suicide).
eto~ anything more I can think of right now?
I wanna get to sewing so I will probably do that. I thought of making some home sewn birthday presents, so I might think those things out. Working on the maid costumes is a must, so thats a top priority this week. I might just post the end result of how the collars worked out.
maandag 1 februari 2010
So. Today was the first day of my exams. We got our project book and they explained roughly what was in the project book. Lucky we get to "start our own cloths line" this yea without having to fight for it :D so yay. I'm really looking forward to doing this stuff, though of course I am quite nervous as well. I kind of have an idea what I want to do for my collection, but we have to do research for it. If it will sell and what kind of people will buy it and why and why we thing its the a good idea to make THIS collection and not a different one. I want to do something with dolls for an idea, but not necessarily the cute cute fluffy fluffy ones. Think the more dark ones. If the fashion prognoses for 2011 (which we HAVE to use for our collection idea's) allow it I want to take it to a black/white and print theme. I'll find a way if thats not in the 2011 prognoses to do it anyways =D the persistent ones always get there way, no?
After the explanation and everything they had arranged for us to go to a high tea. The place we went to was called "Het paradijs" and it looked really pretty. It was like a small green house. And you know what the most amassing thing was? The person who build it actually lived there.
Isn't it pretty? The tea was quite nice (though the serving people didn't know what kinda tea it was, I think) and they had cakes and scones and sandwiches and those kinda things. it was yummy, but there was more then we could eat, haha.
Ooh I almost forgot. This morning it was snowing like really really heavily, so much even that my dad canceled going to sports (which really means a lot) and the bus wasn't getting through the traffic either. So we had to go to the train station by bike (me and a friend). It was really hard to bike because it was really slippery and everything. and when we finally almost made it to the train station, I fell. I made this really really nice slide, too =D . It was really funny (no I didn't hurt myself, thats why it was funny). And my friend fell to because she was afraid she'd bike over my hand if she kept on going. Luckily she missed my hand. But we where laughing about it when we where still on the ground. And some people that came after us where like "Are you okay??". I think it might have looked like quite a fall. I donno if I have any bruises... I might. And even though we fell and took quite long to get to the train, we actually made it on time *cheers*. We where the first one at school from our class, even, haha.
On a different note:
I had a few more idea's for shirts this weekend. A few really really cool ones.
And I kind of started on my dress. I made a base. And I thought out some problems I where having this night (I know, I'm supposed to sleep at night, but... I can't help but thinking about cloths at night, really I can't)
O yea. We had a meeting of the Maids this weekend, too. The maids?? I hear you think. Yes, maids. I am part of the Dutch Maid team called sparkling potpourri (http://www.sparklingpotpourri.com/). We had a meeting to discuss some things that had to be done and we talked about some things that might be good idea's, or might not be. I'm having a lot of fun with the maids. I'm looking forward to the next time we're having the maid cafe on a convention again.
I think that is all for today :D
Till next time
donderdag 28 januari 2010
Today i went to the open day of my school, because i wanted to look at the other education programs they have at our school. I have to say some where pretty interesting, though not the "OMG I sooo wanna do that" kind of interesting. But I had fun with some of my friends and thats what counts, no? They where selling these totally cute and awesome plushes that they had to make for a school project, I pre-ordered 2 of them (No I am not to lazy to make my own, I just thought how cool it would be to have plushes of my friends among my own made plush collection. I couldn't watch the fashion show the 2th year students where having, which I kind of regret, but We will probably be shown a video of the show when we get back to school, for the model picking.
Tomorrow is my last day at my internship, I am really looking forward to going back to school.
Though my internship went with ups and a lot of downs, I can at least say I learned a few things there, and that is what counts in the end. I learned a lot about myself there too, which is really a priceless thing on its own.
eto~ Right now I am working on some patterns for a dress I want to make. If it turns out the way I want to its going to be a totally cool dress, I'm sure of it. I also drew and wrote down some things I want to make that are gonna be totally cool too. I promise to post pictures of the things I made when there done.
I thing that is about all I want to share today. Look forward to the pictures of the dress please!
woensdag 27 januari 2010
Why did I created a blog now?
Just this moment?? Because I thought it would be good for me to share my joyfull things with the world, and as a special reminder for myself, that there ARE joyful things between all the bad things in this world.
What am I going to do with this blog???
To be fair I have no idea yet. I will probably post things I liked that day, or that week, or things that happened during my upcoming exams. Probably I will post pictures of things I made, or did or whatever comes to mind. I might make promises to myself to make things, and post pictures of the results, or, I really have no idea. I guess you could say its going to be a blog about my adventures
So I hope that the people who will read my blog will like it, even if its going to be weird, or something.