Ohanami~!

Hello my dear readers~

For you who don't understand the titel of this blog piece: Ohanami is a Japanese word that means Flower blossom viewing. Which is what we did today~!


Aren't they beautiful? It was my first time going to an Ohanami. I went there with my friends, my Japanese teachers and they're friends and some other people from school.

I had a lot of fun. Sometimes I really wonder how old we are because we tend to act like little kids, doing stuff like trowing chocolate easter eggs to each other, playing ball, doing "Darumasan ga koronda" and lots of other fun stuff.

I'd like to say I feel happy now, but I feel kind of lonely after having a gathering like todays. Maybe because I'm afraid it won't last forever? Because I'm afraid I'll forget? I don't know, but I do look forward to the next time.

I won't bother you with more ranting on being lonely and blah and stuff and I'll just show you some pretty pictures. I hope you'll enjoy the pictures, and untill next time~!


Onigiri
Under the Sakura tree


Hope you enjoyed~ Untill next time~

Restless rant..

Hello my dear readers *bows*

That looked so cool in my head, to bad I'm actually anything but cool...
Anyways the reason I'm writing this evening at 11.26 pm: I feel restless. And not just a little bit either! Its super annoying.

I think it is because I haven't been amongst people today. Which makes me feel super lonely and sad. But I have school again tomorrow yay. Yes I'm one of those weird people that actually loves to go to school. But hey what would you do if you felt uber lonely at the student house your living at (or at your parents home, for that matter).

Last week was really fun. A few of my classmates and my senpai finally got me to say yes to help them in a musical play for the open day of our school. I had wanted to help sooner but I was always focused on my homework. Now that I decided I wanted to have more fun I thought it wouldn't hurt to help. It was lots of fun! (if any of my senpai read this: you rock and your awesome and thank you for letting me join)

We were doing a "Takarazuka" play. Which is a Japanese theater style, based on the western musicals and revue, and where all the parts are played by girls! It's really awesome! Anyhow, I got to play a guy. And I got the feeling I kind of really sucked at it, even if I played my part okay. I want to be more manly sometimes. I got this girl in my class whom I totally adore. She's super cute at times, but she can be really manly, which is so totally awesome. I want to be like that, too. When I feel like it.

I think thats making me feel restless too. I hate not being able to be the things I want to be or do the things I want to do. Though I know I can't be everything I want to be, or do everything I want to do perfectly, I still want to. It makes me feel like a failure. "Yet an other thing I can add to my 'fail' list".

It's kind of ironic. While cleaning my room today I put up some new "luck4you" cards. Theres this one that says :"The only thing that can make you happy, is being happy with who you are". Which is, as much as I hate to admit it, something I'm not. When I realized in this blog entry I really don't like talking about myself, I've been really thinking about who I am. Who I really am, not just who I want to be. When I was thinking about it I also realized I tend to just go hyper over things because my "role" needs me to go hyper over it. Like the way I used to totally go hyper over lolita cloths. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE lolita fashion. It's just... not really my thing, to wear. I have it with a lot of other things. But really I don't even have favorite things. Not really anyways.

It may sound weird but, I'm really happy I'm realizing some of these things. I'm finally getting to know me. I'm getting to know parts of me, both parts I like and parts I dislike, but they're still parts of me. I can finally introduce I bit more about myself then just my name, birthday, age and occupation. Just a bit, but it's more then before so I'm happy.

Tomorrow I'm going to see if I can help my senpai out with some school news paper kind of thing. Hopefully I can help a bit.

I'm still restless. And I'm still not tired. Maybe I will dig around Gyaru pictures now. I want to get new shoes, but I have no idea which kind I want yet (I'm stuck between buying high super cute summer heals or good comfi sneakers).

O well. Picture of my hair is still in the making, my cam died. Need to remember to look for a new one.

I hope I didn't bother anyone with this rant (and if I have, thank you for reading it all, even though it bothered you). Hopefully next post will be a bit more... less rant like.

Until next time~ *tries an attempt at bowing really manly*
(time now, 11:54 PM)

Back on track...

Hi readers,

Lets make a party~ I'm finally better! well, almost better. M still coughing my lungs out BUT I feel great!

Starting this week I'm going to try to work hard to get my stuff back on track. Because of the week being sick, I'm behind on my studies, big time. I tried to keep up with my Japanese studies a bit, but I still missed so much! Getting my studies back on track (and my homework) is my number one prioritie! I really really really want to be able to say I tried my best. Right now I don't think I will make it, but I am going to try anyways.

My next step to getting my stuff back on track: Training! I've been sitting on my lazy butt all day sins the start of my studies. The only exercise I get are during Japanese Workshops or when I bike to school/the train station. I want to lose my fluffy belly so I'm going to work out my belly muscles~ Will help me get the perfect belly this summer. I want bikini's

One other thing on my list is just to have fun~! I'm way to stressed about all the things around me. I have to do this I have to do that I have to I have to! It's making me gloomy because I'm living my life doing stuff I have to do because I have to do them. It is time I start having Fun.

I'm also gonna post my new cute hair when I have time and when it is doing what I want it to do, haha.

Well~ I'll keep you updated.

Ba Bai~

Still sick..

Hello everybody~

As the title says, I'm still sick. It has been a week now and its really frustrating.
Today is the first day I've felt good enough to make homework. Its really really frustrating.

Time for a little frustration rant:

Right now nothing is working out the way I want it too. I'm behind on my studies thanks to being sick. I feel like shit and I don't look cute at all. My legs hurt from laying down all day, it hurts to walk because my legs hurt. My head is still really fussy so I can only do the most simple homework. And its just, ugh. I wish I never got sick.....

And you know whats the worst of this time being sick? I feel uber lonely. Everybody is busy, and I don't blame them, I should be busy as well. But I go about my day watching Anime and Asian Drama's and checking my facebook and msn for messages. And each time I check facebook and msn for no reason, cause there are no messages...
Maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I feel super lonely.

And I feel lost. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I pretty much already gave up hope for my studies, even though I'm still trying (other wise I wouldn't be making homework while still sick, don't you think?)but... *shrug* I just don think I can do it in the end. Maybe I should just become a hip, super fashionable house mom or something.

I hope I feel better soon.

End of my rant.

See ya

Ill and Shocked...

Hi there readers,

This week I wanted to make a totally awesome post about some cool stuff I discovered while browsing the internet, about my new haircut (which is totally awesome) and a lot of other cute/cool/awesome stuff.

But ever sins last Friday I haven't really felt like writing about my totally awesome stuff. I've been ill sins Friday. And now I'm missing classes which I really don't like. If only school wasn't a 4 hour train trip away from where I am now.

And I'm really shocked. I've pretty much been glued to the television and news web pages to follow everything thats happening in Japan. It's really horrible. I'm praying for all the people in Japan that have been hurt and those who have lost people dear to them.

I hope things go better soon.

Maybe next time I'll feel up to posting about my totally awesome things, but right now, Nothing is totally awesome when I look at the news and hear yet an other drama in Japan :(

Signing out now.

Changing again

Hiya readers,

As you may have noticed (or at least I sure hope you noticed) I changed my blog. Why? Because I can *insert evil laughter*. And because I wanted to.

Its been a while sins I started this blog and a hell of a lot of stuff has happened sins then. I changed, big time. I went to a new school, I made new friends, I lost old ones, I discovered new things about myself, I found new interests and a whole lot of other stuff you probably don't really wanna read all about. So yea I changed my blog because I'm changing. My whole blog will probably change with time.

So yea.....
I added a few .... how are those things called again? well anyways there is a "blogs that are totally worth following" box to your left, and a "My current obsession" box at the top. You SHOULD totally check out "XiaXue" if you haven't already. She's kinda cool. Won a blog award or something along those lines so thats totally worth checking out.


Maybe its time for a little update about me?

Lets see~ ......... *draws a blank*.....
Okay, so maybe, unlike some of my friends think, I find it really hard to talk about myself. I really don't know what to say about myself. Besides the fact that I can now admit that I actually really don't like talking about myself. Sure I talk about the things I DO a lot. But really about myself? Nop, not really, Never really did either.

okay~ About what I do then, maybe???

I'm gonna stop sewing for people. At least for a while. Its about damn time that I put myself in first place. And thats just what I'm gonna do!

I started really liking baking. Like it even more that people like my baking. Got to watch out for my ego though.... *looks at her ego thats about as small as her pinkie* oooorrrr maybe not.

So what more~..... I need to kick up my skills for school. Its actually not going to well. But I'm trying, so if I fail I can at the very least say I tried my hardest.

I kind of stopped liking Lolita fashion. Its not a big part of my live anymore. Though I still love frills and dolls and all those kind of cute and girlie things, I'm now more interested in Gyaru and Mori (Japanese fashion styles). Though unlike I did will Lolita fashion I don't want to make the mistake of saying "I want to be a (insert any type of subculture)." I don't want to be anything. I just like the cloths and I'm going to wear them My way. I don care what people say as long as I like it.


And thats about all the things I can think of for now. Hopefully next time I'll have something really interesting to catch your attention.

Have a fashionable weekend ya'll~