Hi there,
I wanted to write a bit about 'the here and now' for me.
Why I want to write about something like that? Because it is really important to me to live in the here and now, instead of the past, or the future.
I used to live in the past. I used to think about all the things I did wrong, all the things that where good and all the things I wanted to return too.
There's a lot I wanted to change. I wanted to change that I never played with children my age. I wanted to change that I never paid attention in class. I wanted to change that no one liked me, no matter how hard I tried to have them like me.
I wanted to correct all the errors I made with friends. I wanted to re-do all the bad grades I got. I wanted to be better.
I wanted to return to the happy innocent days of my childhood, where I'd sit in a little circle with all my plush and have a tea party, a school or a therapy session because my bear was o-so-sad.
I wanted to return to the happy days with a dear friend of me who I chased away.
But the past is something that happened. The past is something that was. The past can never be again. What if's and I should have done it differently's won't get you anywhere. The past is the past and will always be nothing but the past. Happy memories, sad memories. Things that have been.
I don't know when it happened but I got to a point where I accepted this. Its okay like this. I can't change that which has been, but I can learn from my mistakes. And I will.
I've spend days thinking of the future. As a child you think of what you're doing to be, what your doing to do. I wanted to be a fish breeder or a cat breeder. I wanted to be a Prima Ballerina. I wanted to be a Cello soloist. I wanted to be perfect, I wanted to be a fashion designer, I wanted to be.... There's so many things. So many things I wanted to be.
But have you ever thought of being happy and healthy, having a place in the world that you like? It would be strange, no? To be asked what you want to be and answer "I want to be happy and healthy". Even though its something we all want to be, you never hear one say it when asked what they want to be. But in that long long list of things you want to be, isn't being happy and healthy the most important thing? I think it is.
Maybe we should all start answering we want to be happy and healthy when someone asks us what we want to be and say what we want to do, or become, when they ask us what we want to do, or become.
And because I want to be happy and healthy, I started to live in the now. I want to work on the me in the current time, not the future, or the past. Now is the only time we have right now. So thats the time we should live our life's in, or at least that's my opinion.
So I'm going to do my best in school. I'm going to study hard and get good grades. I'm going to try and live healthy, eating healthy, drinking a lot of water and taking the bike instead of the bus, even when its raining.
And most importantly, I'm going to work on the Me I have now. I'm going to learn from my past and change what I can so I won't make the same mistakes again. I'm going to work hard for a pretty, happy and healthy future. I'm going to work for a place in the future that is just for me. And I'm doing so day by day, month by month. I'm doing so in the here and now.
And that is why the here and now is so important to me.
I wonder what your opinion is.
Thats it for now.
Back to my studies.
*Waves* BaiBai
Chibiohimesama
donderdag 16 september 2010
woensdag 15 september 2010
Hi there,
I just felt like writing this early morning.
I'm feeling happy right now. I'm loving being on my own, having my own things to take care of and not having all kinds of people bossing me around and telling me what I should and should not do. It feels like freedom (even with all the homework) to be able to do my own thing, live my own pace.
I'm feeling better now. Better then I did half a year ago. Or even year ago. Intern really wasn't a nice experience for me. I was already afraid of the intern because my last inturn didn't go all to well. Because of personal reasons and a huge miscommunication I got kicked out of my first internship. The second internship was nice, the people were nice to me, but I hardly did anything other then pulling out threats and stitches.
Because of that I got introduced to a Comstume/Carnival atelier. So I could learn to make special cloths and costumes. But in truth it was a Costume/Carnival RENTAL and a change/repair atelier. I stayed there because I wanted to finish the inturn, prove myself I could do it. Though I have to say I learned a few new tricks there and that the lady and her husband where nice to me, the inturn period messed me up. They both didn't say things directly and didn't show their emotions, at all (she looked moody when talking in a sugery laced voice to her grandchild).
That is why I think you should always be direct to people about things that bother you. Not in a rude way, but in a polite but direct way, after or during the happening of the annoyance. Don't let it bottle up inside and then let it out when the other person maybe already forgot about it.
That's what happened with them. After a while I started always worrying if I did everything okay, or if they where mad at me without me knowing. It really damaged my trust in people, my self-worth and self confidence.
And the exama pretty much ruined my love for making/designing cloths. Why? I didn't do my thing during my exams. I was so focused on doing what I thought other people expected of me, what I knew would get me the right grades to pass the exam, that I forgot to do my own thing with my collection and, more importantly even, have FUN during the process of making my collection.
For those who haven't followed it: I am now a graduated tailored fashion specialist and during my exam I had to make a perfectly tailored and costom made collection existing out of 5 clothing pieces. For me that was a bodysuit, a (plastic see-trough) jacket, a waist pants, a top, a dress and a gilet.
The exams, my not doing my own thing and just everything together ruined my love for making cloths. It took me quite a while to recover from that. I was afraid to finish the maid costumes I've been entrusted with, as well as the Princess Princess (anime) dress that I was asked to make. I had lost all confidence in myself.
So you should always do what feels best, what feels right to you. Don't just do things because other people expect you to do it, it will only make you feel bad and ruin the love you have for the things you're doing.
I've gotten it back now. My self confidence, my wanting to do my own thing, my trust in me. I have really enjoyed finishing the maid costumes and the Princess Princess dress. I'm even thinking of making my own cloths again, not just costumes. Living on my own really did me well. I'm growing up a bit, learning new things and discovering new things. I'm becoming a bit more me each day. And I love it. I love me!
I want to write about the maid costumes next time. Maybe I will.
I have to go to school now though :) I wish you all a happy day.
And remember: Always do what feels right and follow your heart.
*waves* baibai
chibiohimesama.
I just felt like writing this early morning.
I'm feeling happy right now. I'm loving being on my own, having my own things to take care of and not having all kinds of people bossing me around and telling me what I should and should not do. It feels like freedom (even with all the homework) to be able to do my own thing, live my own pace.
I'm feeling better now. Better then I did half a year ago. Or even year ago. Intern really wasn't a nice experience for me. I was already afraid of the intern because my last inturn didn't go all to well. Because of personal reasons and a huge miscommunication I got kicked out of my first internship. The second internship was nice, the people were nice to me, but I hardly did anything other then pulling out threats and stitches.
Because of that I got introduced to a Comstume/Carnival atelier. So I could learn to make special cloths and costumes. But in truth it was a Costume/Carnival RENTAL and a change/repair atelier. I stayed there because I wanted to finish the inturn, prove myself I could do it. Though I have to say I learned a few new tricks there and that the lady and her husband where nice to me, the inturn period messed me up. They both didn't say things directly and didn't show their emotions, at all (she looked moody when talking in a sugery laced voice to her grandchild).
That is why I think you should always be direct to people about things that bother you. Not in a rude way, but in a polite but direct way, after or during the happening of the annoyance. Don't let it bottle up inside and then let it out when the other person maybe already forgot about it.
That's what happened with them. After a while I started always worrying if I did everything okay, or if they where mad at me without me knowing. It really damaged my trust in people, my self-worth and self confidence.
And the exama pretty much ruined my love for making/designing cloths. Why? I didn't do my thing during my exams. I was so focused on doing what I thought other people expected of me, what I knew would get me the right grades to pass the exam, that I forgot to do my own thing with my collection and, more importantly even, have FUN during the process of making my collection.
For those who haven't followed it: I am now a graduated tailored fashion specialist and during my exam I had to make a perfectly tailored and costom made collection existing out of 5 clothing pieces. For me that was a bodysuit, a (plastic see-trough) jacket, a waist pants, a top, a dress and a gilet.
The exams, my not doing my own thing and just everything together ruined my love for making cloths. It took me quite a while to recover from that. I was afraid to finish the maid costumes I've been entrusted with, as well as the Princess Princess (anime) dress that I was asked to make. I had lost all confidence in myself.
So you should always do what feels best, what feels right to you. Don't just do things because other people expect you to do it, it will only make you feel bad and ruin the love you have for the things you're doing.
I've gotten it back now. My self confidence, my wanting to do my own thing, my trust in me. I have really enjoyed finishing the maid costumes and the Princess Princess dress. I'm even thinking of making my own cloths again, not just costumes. Living on my own really did me well. I'm growing up a bit, learning new things and discovering new things. I'm becoming a bit more me each day. And I love it. I love me!
I want to write about the maid costumes next time. Maybe I will.
I have to go to school now though :) I wish you all a happy day.
And remember: Always do what feels right and follow your heart.
*waves* baibai
chibiohimesama.
zondag 12 september 2010
New chapters.
Hello there,
This little princess has been a busy little princess these past few weeks.
Like you might have read in earlier posts, I've started the new chapters of my lige called: A new study, as well as the chapter called: Living on my own.
I wanted to tell you a bit about both of them.
A new study.
2 Weeks ago i started my new study. For those who are wondering, I am studying Japanese. We're going to be educated to be an intermediary in English-Japanese International businesses.
The first week was the introduction week. We met our classmated and some really nice second graders showed us around the school. I have to say I really like my class.
We're all rally different from eachother, but we get long quite well. At least I think we do. I relaly like it that we al have a love for the Japanese language. I think it is because of that, that we get along so well. I hope we all become friends, somewhat, and will have a nice school period.
The second week we had our first classes. It was really different from what I'm used to, as i have studied (and graduated) to become a tailored/costom made cloths specialist before. It's a lot of theoratical stuff and a lot more homework then I'm used to. But even so I'm having a lot of fun. I'm discovering new parts of myself. And I really like studying from books a lot.
I can't wait untill we get started in our real Japanese study books. We are going to use the Japanese study books called: Minna no Nihongo (みんなの日本語). I'm really excited about going to use them. I have to admit that up untill now I only know the Hirigana (and it takes me a bit to recognize them when I'm reading a text, BUT I'm already quite happy about how well it's going). I was studying my Katakana when I decided I needed to put an entry on my blog <3.
Living on my own.
Now living on my own is a whole lot different from what I expected it to be. Sure I have a lot of fun taking care of myself, doing my own cooking and having a place (a whole 11 square meter) to call my own. But the housemate thing is a bit tricky every now and then.
Now don't get me wrong, I have housemates that are really nice. But some of them are a bit... messy. And I really like clean. And most of my housemates are really outgoing people, they go out, drink, have parties and the likes. And I don't go out, drink (a lot) or do just the general student stuff. But it's just the start of the school year so who knows how that will turn out to be later on.
I'm doing really well with cooking and cleaning my own (and sometimes my floor mates) dishes. The problem is doing my own laundry. Not that I don't know how to do it, because I do. But we have to buy coins for the washing machine (it's a coin operated machine). and the coin gives us 3 hours to wash. Now for the problem: I Don't have enough cloths to put in the washine machine for 3 hours (we can do 2 laundry's in 2 hours) in one week. But on the other hand I don't have enough cloths to NOT do my laundry at least once a week. So thats a thing I have to kind of figure out.
Well that's about it for the new chapters of my storie. That is, unless you want to add the chapter: Current obsessions. I founf the site of the @home maid cafe by accident and have been hooked up on it ever since. I totally love the way it looks and the way it shows the profiles of the totally cute maids. I really want to go to the @home cafe if I go to Japan. And I looked at the blogs some of the maids have. I saw most of the blogs use a lot of Hirigana and little kanji. So i figured I could maybe use this little overly sweet addiction to help me keep up with reading Hirigana (and the kanji they use).
Just so you don't worry, I only look at it when I have finished my homework.
I think that's all for today. I should get some more tea and study the rest of my katakana now.
I hope you enjoyed this little update on the chapters of my life.
*waves* BaiBai
This little princess has been a busy little princess these past few weeks.
Like you might have read in earlier posts, I've started the new chapters of my lige called: A new study, as well as the chapter called: Living on my own.
I wanted to tell you a bit about both of them.
A new study.
2 Weeks ago i started my new study. For those who are wondering, I am studying Japanese. We're going to be educated to be an intermediary in English-Japanese International businesses.
The first week was the introduction week. We met our classmated and some really nice second graders showed us around the school. I have to say I really like my class.
We're all rally different from eachother, but we get long quite well. At least I think we do. I relaly like it that we al have a love for the Japanese language. I think it is because of that, that we get along so well. I hope we all become friends, somewhat, and will have a nice school period.
The second week we had our first classes. It was really different from what I'm used to, as i have studied (and graduated) to become a tailored/costom made cloths specialist before. It's a lot of theoratical stuff and a lot more homework then I'm used to. But even so I'm having a lot of fun. I'm discovering new parts of myself. And I really like studying from books a lot.
I can't wait untill we get started in our real Japanese study books. We are going to use the Japanese study books called: Minna no Nihongo (みんなの日本語). I'm really excited about going to use them. I have to admit that up untill now I only know the Hirigana (and it takes me a bit to recognize them when I'm reading a text, BUT I'm already quite happy about how well it's going). I was studying my Katakana when I decided I needed to put an entry on my blog <3.
Living on my own.
Now living on my own is a whole lot different from what I expected it to be. Sure I have a lot of fun taking care of myself, doing my own cooking and having a place (a whole 11 square meter) to call my own. But the housemate thing is a bit tricky every now and then.
Now don't get me wrong, I have housemates that are really nice. But some of them are a bit... messy. And I really like clean. And most of my housemates are really outgoing people, they go out, drink, have parties and the likes. And I don't go out, drink (a lot) or do just the general student stuff. But it's just the start of the school year so who knows how that will turn out to be later on.
I'm doing really well with cooking and cleaning my own (and sometimes my floor mates) dishes. The problem is doing my own laundry. Not that I don't know how to do it, because I do. But we have to buy coins for the washing machine (it's a coin operated machine). and the coin gives us 3 hours to wash. Now for the problem: I Don't have enough cloths to put in the washine machine for 3 hours (we can do 2 laundry's in 2 hours) in one week. But on the other hand I don't have enough cloths to NOT do my laundry at least once a week. So thats a thing I have to kind of figure out.
Well that's about it for the new chapters of my storie. That is, unless you want to add the chapter: Current obsessions. I founf the site of the @home maid cafe by accident and have been hooked up on it ever since. I totally love the way it looks and the way it shows the profiles of the totally cute maids. I really want to go to the @home cafe if I go to Japan. And I looked at the blogs some of the maids have. I saw most of the blogs use a lot of Hirigana and little kanji. So i figured I could maybe use this little overly sweet addiction to help me keep up with reading Hirigana (and the kanji they use).
Just so you don't worry, I only look at it when I have finished my homework.
I think that's all for today. I should get some more tea and study the rest of my katakana now.
I hope you enjoyed this little update on the chapters of my life.
*waves* BaiBai
dinsdag 24 augustus 2010
Recovering
Hello,
Its been a while, I know. A lot has been happening lately.
I moved to life closer to my new school. I'm really exited to get started.
I met up with the friends I'm leavin behind in my birth town and old school. Though we will keep in touch (for sure, I'll never forget my best friends).
And I had an operation. Nothing big, just my tonsils being removed. I'm still recovering from it. And to be honest its really frustrating I'm not recovering as fast as I wish I would. I had a lot of friends wishing me a quick recovery and a lot of them offering to come by, as well. Though I haven't been feeling quite good enough to have visitors. I want to talk to much, which I really can't.
There are going to be a lot of new things in my live the upcoming month. I'm fearing them, but also looking forward to them. As where I move away from my old friends, I'm going to meet new people. I graduated from one school and am going to start at a new one. I'll be having a lot of new experiences and hopefully a lot of fun. I'm really really looking forward to it.
I learned a lot these past few months. I think I might even have become a slightly different person. I'm still me, but I learned, grew and changed. And it feels great. I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming me more and more. And I love it. And I really want to thank the people who have guided, protected and helped me find my way up till now. And I hope a lot of them will keep helping my find my way through my next stage of life.
I'm loving the moments I have now. And I'm going to love the moments I will have from now on.
chibiohimesama
Its been a while, I know. A lot has been happening lately.
I moved to life closer to my new school. I'm really exited to get started.
I met up with the friends I'm leavin behind in my birth town and old school. Though we will keep in touch (for sure, I'll never forget my best friends).
And I had an operation. Nothing big, just my tonsils being removed. I'm still recovering from it. And to be honest its really frustrating I'm not recovering as fast as I wish I would. I had a lot of friends wishing me a quick recovery and a lot of them offering to come by, as well. Though I haven't been feeling quite good enough to have visitors. I want to talk to much, which I really can't.
There are going to be a lot of new things in my live the upcoming month. I'm fearing them, but also looking forward to them. As where I move away from my old friends, I'm going to meet new people. I graduated from one school and am going to start at a new one. I'll be having a lot of new experiences and hopefully a lot of fun. I'm really really looking forward to it.
I learned a lot these past few months. I think I might even have become a slightly different person. I'm still me, but I learned, grew and changed. And it feels great. I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming me more and more. And I love it. And I really want to thank the people who have guided, protected and helped me find my way up till now. And I hope a lot of them will keep helping my find my way through my next stage of life.
I'm loving the moments I have now. And I'm going to love the moments I will have from now on.
chibiohimesama
donderdag 12 augustus 2010
My New Story
Hello there,
As the title says I'm working on my new story, the new story of my live.
I'm having a lot of fun "writing" my own story now. I moved into my room for studie last weekend. It was scary but also a lot of fun. I look forward to my new studie. It is going to bring me a lot of oppertunities and new experiences, which are going to be scary, but will most likely turn out to be a lot of fun and/or great learning experience.
I've been reading a lot of blogs lathely, of friends and of other people, and I've learned a lot from those. I'm working on myself a lot, learning about myself a lot with the tips in those blogs, the tips of those people. And having a lot of fun doing so.
Even if there are ups and downs, I don't mind the downs a lot anymore. There not as scary anymore and that makes me really excited to keep going and learning new things.
chibiohimesama
As the title says I'm working on my new story, the new story of my live.
I'm having a lot of fun "writing" my own story now. I moved into my room for studie last weekend. It was scary but also a lot of fun. I look forward to my new studie. It is going to bring me a lot of oppertunities and new experiences, which are going to be scary, but will most likely turn out to be a lot of fun and/or great learning experience.
I've been reading a lot of blogs lathely, of friends and of other people, and I've learned a lot from those. I'm working on myself a lot, learning about myself a lot with the tips in those blogs, the tips of those people. And having a lot of fun doing so.
Even if there are ups and downs, I don't mind the downs a lot anymore. There not as scary anymore and that makes me really excited to keep going and learning new things.
chibiohimesama
donderdag 5 augustus 2010
Happy with the negatives
I had something funny today.
I had 2 things I normal dislike more then anything, and I actuarly enjoyed them.
Am I finaly learning positive thinking?
The first was at work. I had to vacume clean the building (which is a lot of ground to cover) for little fluffy things had taken over the work floor (from a nearby tree). Normaly I really really dislike vacume cleaning. But today? I turned the job into "attack of the white fluff" and "hunted" down the white fluffy "enemy". I turned something I dislike in something funny. I was done in no time at all.
The second thing was while I was biking home. There was this HUGE black cloud coming in. I had seen it when I got on my bike but I was hoping it wouldn't rain. But of course, it did. And it rained hard. I couldn't see a hand before me at one point, so I stopped under a tree and waited for a bit. It didn't stop but it got a little bit better. I decided to just get it over with and bike home. And you know what? I actuarly enjoyed the rain. I was completely wet, even my socks where wet (and my boots are pretty water resistend). But I enjoyed it, really enjoyed it. I was imagening myself twirling around and around in the pretty water sparkles.
Hows that for positive thinking? It made me really happy to realise I didn't think any bad of those things today.
I once read that "positive thinking is the key to happiness". And you know what? I'm starting to believe its true! So lets ALL try to think positive and see the happy things in life.
chibi ohimesama
I had 2 things I normal dislike more then anything, and I actuarly enjoyed them.
Am I finaly learning positive thinking?
The first was at work. I had to vacume clean the building (which is a lot of ground to cover) for little fluffy things had taken over the work floor (from a nearby tree). Normaly I really really dislike vacume cleaning. But today? I turned the job into "attack of the white fluff" and "hunted" down the white fluffy "enemy". I turned something I dislike in something funny. I was done in no time at all.
The second thing was while I was biking home. There was this HUGE black cloud coming in. I had seen it when I got on my bike but I was hoping it wouldn't rain. But of course, it did. And it rained hard. I couldn't see a hand before me at one point, so I stopped under a tree and waited for a bit. It didn't stop but it got a little bit better. I decided to just get it over with and bike home. And you know what? I actuarly enjoyed the rain. I was completely wet, even my socks where wet (and my boots are pretty water resistend). But I enjoyed it, really enjoyed it. I was imagening myself twirling around and around in the pretty water sparkles.
Hows that for positive thinking? It made me really happy to realise I didn't think any bad of those things today.
I once read that "positive thinking is the key to happiness". And you know what? I'm starting to believe its true! So lets ALL try to think positive and see the happy things in life.
chibi ohimesama
zondag 1 augustus 2010
Alice "Let's pretend"
This part from the book "Alice, Through the Looking Glass, and what Alice found there" really caught my attention and made me a bit happy.
- 'Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, Kitty? How nice and soft it sounds! Just as if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again." And when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress themselves in all greenm and dance about - whenever the wind blows - oh, that's verry pretty!' cried Alice, dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. 'And I do so wish it was true! 'm sure the woods look sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting brown.' -
Wouldn't it be wonderfull if it, indeed, where true? And wouldn't it be wonderfull to be able to think about things like the way Alice does in the book? How she sees something special in everything, or else imagens it to be so?
Lets be like Alice. "Let's pretend".
- 'Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, Kitty? How nice and soft it sounds! Just as if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again." And when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress themselves in all greenm and dance about - whenever the wind blows - oh, that's verry pretty!' cried Alice, dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. 'And I do so wish it was true! 'm sure the woods look sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting brown.' -
Wouldn't it be wonderfull if it, indeed, where true? And wouldn't it be wonderfull to be able to think about things like the way Alice does in the book? How she sees something special in everything, or else imagens it to be so?
Lets be like Alice. "Let's pretend".
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