I've ordered my sewing machine and it's coming to my house, very soon! We're going to have long sessions that involve a lot of different clothing and other accessories.
You weren't thinking I meant something else, right?
But really, I am looking forward to making cloths again and seeing how pieces of fabric turn into garments. I really started missing it this past year, and ever since my fingers started itching again I've been thinking up a lot of things I want to try out once I've got my dear sewing machine. I've been making drawings of clothing and drafts of idea's that got stuck in my head in my school notes and notebooks.
Very slowly I've also learned a little, and am still learning, to let go of the fear to wear things that are viewed as different and that people might not like because those pieces of clothing are too different and therefor strange in their eyes. I happen to like clothing and styles that are a bit strange and different from their normal brothers and sisters. They make me feel happy and a bit crazy in a good way. I guess you could say that clothing with a fun and/or crazy twist is sort of like my drug. Even if I try to stay away from it, time and time again I go back to get that feeling it gave me before. And the more I use it, the more I need to satisfy my hunger.
Some of my friends from school have told me recently that "I'm always fashionable and stylish". I was actually quite shocked to hear them say this, because I never viewed myself as anything near fashionable. And I was not expecting my friends to actually view me as a fashionable and/or stylish person. I never really look sloppy, as I always tried to be more fashionable then the unfashionable person I thought I was, or at least I tried to be pleasant to other people's eyes. But it turns out that I'm not doing as bad as I thought I did. Having people tell me I look stylish almost every day of the week really did me good. People should tell me those kind of things more often.
And now I'll be able to add my own designs to my already sort of stylish closet! Meaning I can become even more stylish. Or that's what will happen in my ideal dream world. I'll have to try out a lot, figure out a lot, retain my skills and train the skills I never had. I'll also have to overcome my fear of failure, because failure will just aid me in training my skills. Or something like that. Being able to design without fear will also mean that I can design with that Fun-factor that I love about fashion, and that keeps me falling in love with fashion again after every time I fell out.
When I came back from Japan I actually really missed the sort of fun kind of fashion I always see in the Japanese fashion magazines Kera, Popteen and others, and the fashion I saw in Harajuku. Even before I started to get really interested in Japanese fashion, I always thought Dutch fashion to be sort of bland, but now that I've seen the rainbow of variety in Japan, it seems the sky of Dutch fashion is just grey with nothing much else, except for maybe a cloud or two drift by, an odd one out in the Dutch fashion, but I'm longing to seeing more of the Fun-factor! I want to see the Dutch version of that rainbow! And I sure am going to create my own!
I'm going to try out a lot of things with my new clothing creation toy -maybe I'll even call it CC, my partner in crime- and have a lot of fun with it, that's one thing I know for sure!