Trying to find myself.

Hello there,

I think, one is always trying to find oneself, or an aspect of oneself.
And as so many others, I too, am trying to find myself. Its a hard journey with a lot of scary and sad events, but luckily there are also funny and happy events.

Theres a lot of falling down. But for each falling down theres a standing up and getting stronger if your willing to learn from your mistakes. I always find falling down on my road of life the scariest thing. More then once I'm afraid to get up because if I get up, I can fall again. There have been moments I was so afraid of falling down that I didn't even try to get up anymore. Though now I'm just a tad wiser then I was before. And I discovered falling down isn't quite as bad as I thought it might be. Because not getting up and not moving on is even scarier then falling down. The longer you wait to get up, the harder it gets.

Theres a lot of learning, too. Learning from your mistakes and learning by listening to other people and there mistakes. Learning from books, learning from the Internet (it really did open a whole new world of learning for us) learning from our elders and learning from our youngsters.

An important lesson I have learned is that it is very important to listen to everything you hear and look at everything you see. There could always be something interesting in each and every event or conversation or happening we encounter. Of course it is our own decision which information we use, which information we will store away for later use and which information isn't of importance to us.

An other important lesson I learned is to always be true to oneself. Finding oneself means trying to find that which makes you you. Not trying to find what others think that makes you you.
I lied a lot to myself (and others) to mold me to other peoples wishes, even if it went against my believes. I've tried to forget and I've tried to act out parts. And I have done so many other things just to be part of a group. All in all it was just an other lesson to be learned. Cause now I know the true importance of really being true to yourself no matter what others think of it. In the end you are the only thing that will always be with you all your life.

I have got my interest in Lolita back, I've got a book addiction I'm finally proud of and I'm trying to read into everything that I find interesting, even if its a tad weird, because I like to do so. I'm no longer trying to be what others tell me to be with all my might and I'm trying to embrace every learning experience given to me (even if there still scary to experience sometimes).

And these are todays thoughts of a little princess,

Chibi Ohimesama