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zondag 25 juli 2010

Being indecisive


Lately I've been finding it very hard to make decisions. I even tend to not make any decisions at all just because I'm very scared of making them.

As I am beginning to get quite sick of being so indecisive I wanted to write something about it. To find out the reason why I am being so indecisive and what I can do about it. Before writing this I actually did a little googling and thinking about this subject.

I think the most important question to ask about being indecisive is why?
Why am I being so indecisive? It's really easy to say "Just because I am" but there's always a reason behind it. It could be because one is insecure about the decision, or out of fear of the consequences and possible regret. It could also be because there are too many decisions to make, to many options or even to little information on the alternatives.

I found out it's really hard to find out the reason why you do the things you do. We tend to hide those things about ourselves. But when you want to work on things like this you'll have to get out of your safety zones and be honest about the real why's.

For me it's the fear of consequences and regret. Now that I've admitted that to myself, I can try and work out a way to make it easier to make decisions.

*The best way to fight indecisiveness is to be decisive.
Annoying as it might be its true. Avoiding decisions won't make them go away. It will only make them accumulate and it will only get harder the longer you wait. Writing them down helps. That way you can keep track of your decisions, the ones you've made and the ones you have yet to make.

*Don't rush into making decisions.
Take your time to make a decision. Don't make decisions under stress. You'll probably end up regretting it. Being impulsive might work for some, but it's important to put some thought in the decisions your making. Talk about it with other people to get there opinions on it, but don't let them push you into making a certain decision.

*Make sure you look into all the options.
Making a decision without having looked into all the options will most likely end up in regret as well. Write down all your options and cancel out the ones you decide against. That way you'll shorten the list of options and you'll know for sure you've put enough thought in it to be able to make the right decision for yourself. Don't over think it though, to much thinking can also lead to indecisiveness.

*What is the worst thing that could happen if you make this or that decision?
Now you don't want to think of doom scenarios that will very unlikely to happen. But think about it rationally. What IS the worst thing that could happen? If that where to happen, is it really that bad? Will it outweigh the good things of the decision you're going to make? And what about short term effect and long term effects? Really think about the pro's and con's of the decision you make and write those down. If the pro's outweigh the con's that might just be the right decision to make for yourself.

*Act out the decisions you've made.
If you're sure its the right decision to make then don't let others talk you out of de decisions you've made (unless your suicidal or wanting to hurt other people, then please do let others talk you out of it). If you're a really insecure person like me it's really easy to let others talk you out of things. But in the end you're most likely to regret it. And taking the same decision again will only by harder the second time around.

*Take responsibility.
This is probably the hardest part of making decisions. As with all things in life we have responsibilities we must take. Taking responsibilities for your decisions is just one of those things. Whether it turned out good or bad, we have to accept the consequences or the decisions we make.

Now unless we have to make decisions for a company, decision making is all about ourselves. We have to make a decision that feels right to us and that is right for us. You can't always prevent others from being hurt in your decision making. We should always try to hurt others as little as possible while making our decisions but sometimes it just can't be helped.

And those are today's thoughts of a little princess

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