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Fashion fashion fashion. Is there anything else that matters?
Posts tonen met het label restless. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label restless. Alle posts tonen

zaterdag 20 augustus 2011

10 Day Challenge: Progress

Hello my dears,

It has been some time since I last posted, I know. Lets just say a lot of things have been going on in my live, like work, love, hate, confusion and just plain chaos. There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to (positive things) and an equal lot of things I do not look forward to (negative things). For one, I'm going to meet a person again, whom I'm afraid of, in the very near future. Not something to look forward to.

But! School is also starting soon. And as weird as it might sound to some of you, I'm really looking forward to it! I can't wait to get started again and learn new things, get to know new people! And to show myself (and others) I can actually do it!

After some fighting with myself I finally started the 10 day challenge. It has turned out to be a lot harder then I thought. To think up all the details I want my "perfect day" to have. Not to mention, my "perfect day" sometimes changes from day to day. But at least I started. I'm working on my "perfect days" and I already learned a thing or to about myself.

I have changed my mind about posting them though. I AM still going to post them, just not on my blog. The 10 day challenge posts will be posted on my Live journal (yes, very oldschool, but you got to love it) and I will posts the links to them in a combined post about the end result! How does that sound?

An other thing I changed: There are going to be 10 days, but not 10 days right after each other. Sometimes I'm so confused about things that I can hardly write about them. So I'm just working on things until I finished an other "perfect day". I'm just doing it the way I think will help me best , so... None will blame me for it, right?

I'm just going to do it the way I think is the best. I think thats the best way to go, don't you?

There are a lot of things I want to write, and want to do right now. But I think the best thing for me to do, is to try to study a little, and after that to maybe write about my perfect day again.

Love you,

Chibi Ohimesama

vrijdag 5 augustus 2011

Things that annoy me...

(disclaimer: I do not mean to insult anybody with what I write here today.)

Hello my Dears,

Did you know? When your on holiday somewhere, there are ways to recognize Dutch people.
I have noticed this many many times before, both in my own country as well as in the countries I have been to spend my holiday in. When there is a person who is crossing the road next to a zebra crossing -say, 10 meters besides it- you can be almost certain that person is a Dutch person!
(translation: typically Dutch)

Now of course there are Dutch people who do use a zebra crossing to cross a road, and there are none-Dutch people who do not use a zebra crossing to cross a road. But when I was visiting Antwerp someone actually told me its a very common thing for Dutch people to do!

When I heard this I started looking for fellow Dutch people who do this, and guess what? Jep, indeed! A lot of Dutch people actually do this! My own family and friends do it as well! I was amazed by it when I noticed it was actually a true thing which the man told me. That was about 7 years ago. Now, I can't help but be annoyed by these "typical Dutch things".

An other typically Dutch thing: Asking for a discount (note: of course this happens in other countries too, but we are known for it). We have a special sayings for it, amongst them: "Af dingen" and "Pingelen". Now of course, when you can get a discount, why not ask for it? Or if something on the market is really expensive, getting something off the price can be really helpful, and asking never hurt a man, right? But what if it gets annoying? What if people don't stop asking for a discount, until its almost for free? Or when they start getting forceful, angry and rude? Asking for a discount in places where you really can't get one! And getting mad when they don't get it! Thus, a lot of people get mad. And to some people, yes I sometimes make myself guilty of this as well, I'm no saint, but so do you!

Dutch people are known as "People who like to have things for as little money as possible". There are even the sayings like "Going Dutch" or "Having a Dutch party" (which we actually call an "American party"). And of course, who wouldn't want things cheap? When I find a cheap cute dress, I feel really lucky! But I really dislike it when I'm walking in a store and I hear people complain about the price. Sometimes I hear people complain about something that is already really cheap, but they still think it's to expensive! As if they're not happy until it's for free! But they don't understand that when something is cheap, someone is not getting his or her money! And then when people get fired to because the company has to cut down on they're expenses, they complain even more!!

I think Dutch people complain to much. Everything is always someone els his/her fault, but never our own. "I" has to get everything "I" wants to have, "I" lives only to serve "I" but "he/she" must keep in mind that the world is all about "I" and should do everything to please "I". If "he/she" does not do what "I" wants, "I" gets mad.

Traffic is a perfect example of this. Holland is quite small, but we have a lot of roads and cars. It's uncommon to have a rush hour without a traffic jam. When on the road, we are driving with a lot of other cars on the same road as us. Sometimes someone does something stupid or rude. Some people's first reaction is to shout and give them the finger. They become angry and try to "get back" at the driver. Thus they start annoying other drivers, which usually makes things worse. But they themselves have done nothing wrong! They themselves can drive perfectly! All the other drivers should have they're drivers licence taken away, but not them, ooh no, because they are perfect.

A few years back we went to Paris by car. We are used to the Dutch style of driving so when we entered France, suddenly things started to get far more relaxed! I can't really explain it, I guess it is something you have to see for yourself. The traffic in France has it's own pace, or something. After a week in Paris we went back again. We were driving on the road, the easy "lalallalala" way, when suddenly some kind of idiot drives past up pulling stunts and driving a few Km/h to fast. Guess what kind of licence plate the idiot had? Jep, it was a Dutch one. The closer we got to Holland, the more idiots we encountered, until we were surrounded by idiots, and got used to the Dutch way of driving again. I have had some Germans who also said that Dutch people are idiots on the road.

You know, I used to be really proud of being a Dutch girl. The Netherlands were my pride! But so many things are changing. People are getting rude and only care about themselves. We are starting to lose our morals and values. Of course this is something that happens everywhere, but these are the things that bother me most. And of course I do know that not every Dutch person is like this but, these are the "typical Dutch things" that bother me.

I hope I will give the people who read this something to think about. And please share your thoughts.
And for those who feel insulted by this: I'm really sorry if I insulted you, I did not mean to do so, but hate comments will be deleted and I will not delete this post.


Love,

Chibi Ohimesama

(ps: Pictures of my room will follow, but I wanted to get this off my chest first, because it had been annoying me for ages)
(source picture: http://www.goeievraag.nl/vraag/typisch-nederlands.33894)

vrijdag 15 juli 2011

(Re)learning concentration

Hello my Dears,

I have finally found the will to post something again. I still have a hard time realizing I actually passed. I don't think I will actually realize it until I have my first day of school as a Ninensei (second year student).

Even if I'm still in a bit of a cloud, finally having some peace and time for myself, I try to keep going with my studies. I need to keep repeating my Japanese (all of it) in order to not forget it during this summer holiday (I know I will) and to improve it (I really need to). But, I noticed I have a really hard time concentrating on one thing at a time!

Lately there are a lot of articles on how the internet screws and changes our brain. Articles like this one is an example of those articles. The point is: internet is shortening our attention span. The first time I read about this (about 2 years ago) I didn't believe it. I mean, why should I? I read the whole twilight serie, and the last harry potter book, in one week. But this year I started noticing, I could not concentrate on my homework, or my studies, for much longer then 30 minuts (and even that was stretching it). I get bored by long blog posts, when I'm reading fanfiction I switch from fanfiction to facebook to twitter to tumblr and back to my fanfiction. I've gotten so used to quick information, short messages and changing screens, that I have a hard time keeping to one thing at a time!

Within a year time I've shortened my attention span AND become a social media addict!

I'm sort of at a loss on what to do about this! And internet stop would be an idea, but everything I have is on the internet! e-mail (both personal and for school), msn (with my family), facebook (for friends AND school), school information, bank account, moving to a new room, we need the internet!!! Sure I still have my cellphone, but none of my friends call anymore! They use smartphones, so we use facebook and msn for that! I could send out letters, but as cute and fashionable old fashion it is, I will most likely get my very late response through mail, facebook or msn.

Being online less is an option, an option I'm trying, but what to do in the meantime?

So I have gone back to reading books. I've started reading books again before going to sleep, and I'm trying to read about an hour per day for now. Which I noticed already isn't quite as easy as it was a year or so ago. I keep wanting to check facebook and twitter and my e-mail.

But what else to do? So besides reading books I have started to do write in my dairy. I just start writing and continue writing until I have nothing to write about anymore, or until I feel content. I use it to release the thoughts in my head, and to concentrate on something! It is actually quite funny to do. I realize a lot of things while being busy with free writing. One of those things? My head is a complete and utter mess! One more reason to (re)learn to focus on one thing at a time.

The last thing on my list of "ways to (re)learn concentration" is a list of things I need to do for Japanese homework each day. 1 whole A4 page of kanji per day, and when I can do that without to much distractions, 1 hole A4 page of words per day, and so on. This way I keep busy with my studies and maybe expand my attention span again.

I want to (re)learn to concentrate for a longer time period, like I could do before I became a social media addict. If you have the same problem, if you have any tips, or just a comment, please leave a message!

Love you,

Chibi Ohimesama

(picture source: Tumblr.com)

zondag 1 mei 2011

Somewhat lost...

Hello there,

M just posting something quick today.

Today is the first day of my spring break. This week I'm going to sewing a lot (need to finish the maid costumes and a costume for my sister) and I got lots of homework and studying to do. I need to study harder for Japanese. Even though I'm doing okay, I'm still really slow and, well, I got this feeling that I'm actually doing quite bad with Japanese.

And I feel lost. I'm stuck and I don't know which goal to reach to, or which path to take. I like to see life as a road. Right now I have tons of little roads I can take but, I don't know which one! And everyone around me seems to be taking those little roads without much hesitation.

I want to take life as it is at the moment, but, I do want to keep moving forward somewhat. Now I just feel stuck. I really don't know what I want to do with my life. The truth is, I'm a real wanna-be-something. The things like cute and a fashion designer are things I have been wanting to be/become for ages but other then that. I sometimes wonder if I'm not just riding on other peoples ideals, and they enthusiasm they have for the things they love. I keep finding that I do that a lot, these days. I wonder if I used to do it even more. I mean, at least now I no longer try to be the person other people wanted me to become.

Some days ago someone asked my why I was becoming so distant from them. Maybe even a bit hostile? When I thought about that I had to admit to myself that I've become distant and hostile to almost all of my old friends. Maybe its because I'm changing? I'm becoming someone els and they no longer know the me who I have become? Maybe I've become distant and hostile because, because... because I think/feel they still want me to be the old me? I don't know.

An other friend made me think about something els. I have learned to appreciate things more then I used to. Like fashion. Or cloths in general. Art as well. I've always appreciated music (I've just never been completely obsessed with an idol or band).

Maybe I'm just thinking to much and living to little. Who knows.
Just my little rant.

Until next time <3

zondag 27 maart 2011

Restless rant..

Hello my dear readers *bows*

That looked so cool in my head, to bad I'm actually anything but cool...
Anyways the reason I'm writing this evening at 11.26 pm: I feel restless. And not just a little bit either! Its super annoying.

I think it is because I haven't been amongst people today. Which makes me feel super lonely and sad. But I have school again tomorrow yay. Yes I'm one of those weird people that actually loves to go to school. But hey what would you do if you felt uber lonely at the student house your living at (or at your parents home, for that matter).

Last week was really fun. A few of my classmates and my senpai finally got me to say yes to help them in a musical play for the open day of our school. I had wanted to help sooner but I was always focused on my homework. Now that I decided I wanted to have more fun I thought it wouldn't hurt to help. It was lots of fun! (if any of my senpai read this: you rock and your awesome and thank you for letting me join)

We were doing a "Takarazuka" play. Which is a Japanese theater style, based on the western musicals and revue, and where all the parts are played by girls! It's really awesome! Anyhow, I got to play a guy. And I got the feeling I kind of really sucked at it, even if I played my part okay. I want to be more manly sometimes. I got this girl in my class whom I totally adore. She's super cute at times, but she can be really manly, which is so totally awesome. I want to be like that, too. When I feel like it.

I think thats making me feel restless too. I hate not being able to be the things I want to be or do the things I want to do. Though I know I can't be everything I want to be, or do everything I want to do perfectly, I still want to. It makes me feel like a failure. "Yet an other thing I can add to my 'fail' list".

It's kind of ironic. While cleaning my room today I put up some new "luck4you" cards. Theres this one that says :"The only thing that can make you happy, is being happy with who you are". Which is, as much as I hate to admit it, something I'm not. When I realized in this blog entry I really don't like talking about myself, I've been really thinking about who I am. Who I really am, not just who I want to be. When I was thinking about it I also realized I tend to just go hyper over things because my "role" needs me to go hyper over it. Like the way I used to totally go hyper over lolita cloths. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE lolita fashion. It's just... not really my thing, to wear. I have it with a lot of other things. But really I don't even have favorite things. Not really anyways.

It may sound weird but, I'm really happy I'm realizing some of these things. I'm finally getting to know me. I'm getting to know parts of me, both parts I like and parts I dislike, but they're still parts of me. I can finally introduce I bit more about myself then just my name, birthday, age and occupation. Just a bit, but it's more then before so I'm happy.

Tomorrow I'm going to see if I can help my senpai out with some school news paper kind of thing. Hopefully I can help a bit.

I'm still restless. And I'm still not tired. Maybe I will dig around Gyaru pictures now. I want to get new shoes, but I have no idea which kind I want yet (I'm stuck between buying high super cute summer heals or good comfi sneakers).

O well. Picture of my hair is still in the making, my cam died. Need to remember to look for a new one.

I hope I didn't bother anyone with this rant (and if I have, thank you for reading it all, even though it bothered you). Hopefully next post will be a bit more... less rant like.

Until next time~ *tries an attempt at bowing really manly*
(time now, 11:54 PM)