We are what We wear...

Hello my dears,

Today I want to talk with you about something that’s been on my mind for a long time already. I’ve actually had stickies on my closet with reminders and notes for this subject. 

As you might have notices already, Fashion is a really big deal for me. No matter which route I take I always go back to fashion one way or another. Just like fashion my dreams of fashion are constantly changing, as do my wishes and goals for the future. But some time ago I started wondering: what does fashion actually mean to me?

10 Day Challenge: Progress

Hello my dears,

It has been some time since I last posted, I know. Lets just say a lot of things have been going on in my live, like work, love, hate, confusion and just plain chaos. There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to (positive things) and an equal lot of things I do not look forward to (negative things). For one, I'm going to meet a person again, whom I'm afraid of, in the very near future. Not something to look forward to.

But! School is also starting soon. And as weird as it might sound to some of you, I'm really looking forward to it! I can't wait to get started again and learn new things, get to know new people! And to show myself (and others) I can actually do it!

After some fighting with myself I finally started the 10 day challenge. It has turned out to be a lot harder then I thought. To think up all the details I want my "perfect day" to have. Not to mention, my "perfect day" sometimes changes from day to day. But at least I started. I'm working on my "perfect days" and I already learned a thing or to about myself.

I have changed my mind about posting them though. I AM still going to post them, just not on my blog. The 10 day challenge posts will be posted on my Live journal (yes, very oldschool, but you got to love it) and I will posts the links to them in a combined post about the end result! How does that sound?

An other thing I changed: There are going to be 10 days, but not 10 days right after each other. Sometimes I'm so confused about things that I can hardly write about them. So I'm just working on things until I finished an other "perfect day". I'm just doing it the way I think will help me best , so... None will blame me for it, right?

I'm just going to do it the way I think is the best. I think thats the best way to go, don't you?

There are a lot of things I want to write, and want to do right now. But I think the best thing for me to do, is to try to study a little, and after that to maybe write about my perfect day again.

Love you,

Chibi Ohimesama

My new room

Hello my Dears,

It took me a while, but I finally took the time (had the time) to make some pictures of my new room.

Please enjoy~

Love you,

Until next time

(Re)learning concentration

Hello my Dears,

I have finally found the will to post something again. I still have a hard time realizing I actually passed. I don't think I will actually realize it until I have my first day of school as a Ninensei (second year student).

Even if I'm still in a bit of a cloud, finally having some peace and time for myself, I try to keep going with my studies. I need to keep repeating my Japanese (all of it) in order to not forget it during this summer holiday (I know I will) and to improve it (I really need to). But, I noticed I have a really hard time concentrating on one thing at a time!

Lately there are a lot of articles on how the internet screws and changes our brain. Articles like this one is an example of those articles. The point is: internet is shortening our attention span. The first time I read about this (about 2 years ago) I didn't believe it. I mean, why should I? I read the whole twilight serie, and the last harry potter book, in one week. But this year I started noticing, I could not concentrate on my homework, or my studies, for much longer then 30 minuts (and even that was stretching it). I get bored by long blog posts, when I'm reading fanfiction I switch from fanfiction to facebook to twitter to tumblr and back to my fanfiction. I've gotten so used to quick information, short messages and changing screens, that I have a hard time keeping to one thing at a time!

Within a year time I've shortened my attention span AND become a social media addict!

I'm sort of at a loss on what to do about this! And internet stop would be an idea, but everything I have is on the internet! e-mail (both personal and for school), msn (with my family), facebook (for friends AND school), school information, bank account, moving to a new room, we need the internet!!! Sure I still have my cellphone, but none of my friends call anymore! They use smartphones, so we use facebook and msn for that! I could send out letters, but as cute and fashionable old fashion it is, I will most likely get my very late response through mail, facebook or msn.

Being online less is an option, an option I'm trying, but what to do in the meantime?

So I have gone back to reading books. I've started reading books again before going to sleep, and I'm trying to read about an hour per day for now. Which I noticed already isn't quite as easy as it was a year or so ago. I keep wanting to check facebook and twitter and my e-mail.

But what else to do? So besides reading books I have started to do write in my dairy. I just start writing and continue writing until I have nothing to write about anymore, or until I feel content. I use it to release the thoughts in my head, and to concentrate on something! It is actually quite funny to do. I realize a lot of things while being busy with free writing. One of those things? My head is a complete and utter mess! One more reason to (re)learn to focus on one thing at a time.

The last thing on my list of "ways to (re)learn concentration" is a list of things I need to do for Japanese homework each day. 1 whole A4 page of kanji per day, and when I can do that without to much distractions, 1 hole A4 page of words per day, and so on. This way I keep busy with my studies and maybe expand my attention span again.

I want to (re)learn to concentrate for a longer time period, like I could do before I became a social media addict. If you have the same problem, if you have any tips, or just a comment, please leave a message!

Love you,

Chibi Ohimesama

(picture source: Tumblr.com)

10/20/30 Day Challenge Idea.

Hello my Dears~

Have you missed me? I've been busy with my studies these past few days (and I still need to keep going) but I took this little moment to write out an idea I have. I got this idea while reading a Magazine article.

As some of you might know, I'm currently looking for myself. I'm not really sure what I want to become, or who I am. I know I want to keep studying Japanese, and I want to do something with my love for fashion. Lately I have also become very interested in writing, blogging and magazines. But I'm really not sure what to do with all of it!!

The other day, when I was riding the train back home, I was reading a magazine we probably all know: Glamour. There was this one article about "Coming out of the closet". Normally this phrase is used for homosexuals who hide they're sexuality or who do not know for sure. But Glamour used it for hiding what you wanted to be/do, or not knowing what you wanted to be/do, Jobwise. It was a really interesting article. (If you live in Holland or Belgium and you want to read it: Buy the Juli 2011 Glamour edition.)

Now for the part that inspired me for the 10/20/30 Day Challenge: Glamour always used these little side boxes with extra information. With this article they also had a side box with extra information about how to find out what your ideal choice for work was. And it is actually really simple! I'll try to translate the extra information for a bit (I do hope thats legal, haha)

What does your ideal day look like?
How do you figure out what your ideal work choice is? Try walking your ideal work(day) through. Live that day as if it where the present, in detail, from the moment you wake up, until the moment you go to bed. Write it down if you think thats easier. The following questions might give you a hand: What is the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you eat for breakfast? Do you prepare it yourself, or does someone bring it to you, along with a rose and a newspaper. What cloths will you wear? Try to think about every part of the day: Are you inside or outside, calm or active, alone or with other people. Try to keep 3 things in mind when you run through your ideal day: WHAT kind of things do you do? It doesn't matter if you do not have the skills yet, you are daydreaming, after all. WHERE are you, in which situation, on which location? And with WHOM do you work, laugh or talk? It does not have to be people you personally know, famous people or imaginary ideal employee are okay as well. This way it will become clear, for example, if you are a teamperson or an Einzelgänger, if you are somebody who wants to take there time working on a big/long project or if you are somebody who needs variation and change.
(source: Glamour Dutch edition Juli 2011)

And thats my idea for the 10/20/30 Day Challenge: To write out my ideal (work) day for 10/20/30 days!!! And I call it: What does your idea day look like 10/20/30 day challenge! This will help me get an idea of what I want to do, whom I want to be, where I want to be. I will try to do this, coming summer. It will give me a good idea what I want to do with my studies if I pass, and it will give me a good idea what I need to look for when I don't pass my upcoming exams (but of course I'm counting on the pass!!!!). I made it a 10/20/30 Day Challenge because I have no idea how many days I can keep it up, but I want to keep it up for 10 days at least! I will probably post the stories on this blog (it will give you some inspiration to do it yourself, and some entertainment to read when your bored, haha). I will post it under the tag: What does your idea day look like 10/20/30 day challenge.

If you do this challenge yourself: Please let me know!! Let me know the end results, or if you post it on your blog, I want to read the stories you come up with! Inspire each other, so to say.
If you take this challenge: Good luck, and lets try our best to figure out what we want to do, so we can become happy!

I will keep you updated!

Love you! Until next time!

(picture source: Tumbler, so no clue xD)

One new hairdo, coming right up!

Hello my dears,

I'm super exited. Like, super super exited. Why? Because the date has finally been decided. The day I'm going to cut my hair! May 30~! I can't wait!

After thinking it over for almost halve a year, I'm finally doing it. I was always super afraid to cut my hair, because its a huge change (for me) and I was scared of changes. But now, already so much changed. I also already had my hair cut around March. It went form small of my back to just below my shoulder blades. It took me some time to get used to. But now I'm ready for the big step. My new hair length will be: somewhere in between the top of my shoulders to my chin. I'm looking super forward to it!

I've been gathering pictures of short hairstyles to get inspiration/ideas. I found lots of cute pictures that I reblogged on my tumbler . But I'm going to ask the hairdresser what she things is the best haircut for me (my sis will be the hairdresser I'm counting on you bis sis!!)

I might miss the pigtails and the braids, but hair will grow back. I don't think I will regret it. I've been wanting to cut my hair for so long now, but like I said I was afraid. Now, seeing all the girls around me cut they're hair, it gives me courage, but the main reason I'm cutting my hair is for me and me only!

It is really funny though, how my old friends are super against me cutting my hair, especially because its going to be so short. One of my friends even tried to forbid me to cut it. Not working *wink*. My new friends all think it will look super good/cute/sexy on me. It makes me feel good that they support me (my old ones as well, I know you do.)

so, May 30 is the day <3 I will post pictures, this time I will for sure <3

Until next time!!

Somewhat lost...

Hello there,

M just posting something quick today.

Today is the first day of my spring break. This week I'm going to sewing a lot (need to finish the maid costumes and a costume for my sister) and I got lots of homework and studying to do. I need to study harder for Japanese. Even though I'm doing okay, I'm still really slow and, well, I got this feeling that I'm actually doing quite bad with Japanese.

And I feel lost. I'm stuck and I don't know which goal to reach to, or which path to take. I like to see life as a road. Right now I have tons of little roads I can take but, I don't know which one! And everyone around me seems to be taking those little roads without much hesitation.

I want to take life as it is at the moment, but, I do want to keep moving forward somewhat. Now I just feel stuck. I really don't know what I want to do with my life. The truth is, I'm a real wanna-be-something. The things like cute and a fashion designer are things I have been wanting to be/become for ages but other then that. I sometimes wonder if I'm not just riding on other peoples ideals, and they enthusiasm they have for the things they love. I keep finding that I do that a lot, these days. I wonder if I used to do it even more. I mean, at least now I no longer try to be the person other people wanted me to become.

Some days ago someone asked my why I was becoming so distant from them. Maybe even a bit hostile? When I thought about that I had to admit to myself that I've become distant and hostile to almost all of my old friends. Maybe its because I'm changing? I'm becoming someone els and they no longer know the me who I have become? Maybe I've become distant and hostile because, because... because I think/feel they still want me to be the old me? I don't know.

An other friend made me think about something els. I have learned to appreciate things more then I used to. Like fashion. Or cloths in general. Art as well. I've always appreciated music (I've just never been completely obsessed with an idol or band).

Maybe I'm just thinking to much and living to little. Who knows.
Just my little rant.

Until next time <3

The here and now.

Hi there,

I wanted to write a bit about 'the here and now' for me.
Why I want to write about something like that? Because it is really important to me to live in the here and now, instead of the past, or the future.

I used to live in the past. I used to think about all the things I did wrong, all the things that where good and all the things I wanted to return too.
There's a lot I wanted to change. I wanted to change that I never played with children my age. I wanted to change that I never paid attention in class. I wanted to change that no one liked me, no matter how hard I tried to have them like me.
I wanted to correct all the errors I made with friends. I wanted to re-do all the bad grades I got. I wanted to be better.
I wanted to return to the happy innocent days of my childhood, where I'd sit in a little circle with all my plush and have a tea party, a school or a therapy session because my bear was o-so-sad.
I wanted to return to the happy days with a dear friend of me who I chased away.
But the past is something that happened. The past is something that was. The past can never be again. What if's and I should have done it differently's won't get you anywhere. The past is the past and will always be nothing but the past. Happy memories, sad memories. Things that have been.
I don't know when it happened but I got to a point where I accepted this. Its okay like this. I can't change that which has been, but I can learn from my mistakes. And I will.

I've spend days thinking of the future. As a child you think of what you're doing to be, what your doing to do. I wanted to be a fish breeder or a cat breeder. I wanted to be a Prima Ballerina. I wanted to be a Cello soloist. I wanted to be perfect, I wanted to be a fashion designer, I wanted to be.... There's so many things. So many things I wanted to be.
But have you ever thought of being happy and healthy, having a place in the world that you like? It would be strange, no? To be asked what you want to be and answer "I want to be happy and healthy". Even though its something we all want to be, you never hear one say it when asked what they want to be. But in that long long list of things you want to be, isn't being happy and healthy the most important thing? I think it is.
Maybe we should all start answering we want to be happy and healthy when someone asks us what we want to be and say what we want to do, or become, when they ask us what we want to do, or become.

And because I want to be happy and healthy, I started to live in the now. I want to work on the me in the current time, not the future, or the past. Now is the only time we have right now. So thats the time we should live our life's in, or at least that's my opinion.
So I'm going to do my best in school. I'm going to study hard and get good grades. I'm going to try and live healthy, eating healthy, drinking a lot of water and taking the bike instead of the bus, even when its raining.
And most importantly, I'm going to work on the Me I have now. I'm going to learn from my past and change what I can so I won't make the same mistakes again. I'm going to work hard for a pretty, happy and healthy future. I'm going to work for a place in the future that is just for me. And I'm doing so day by day, month by month. I'm doing so in the here and now.

And that is why the here and now is so important to me.
I wonder what your opinion is.

Thats it for now.
Back to my studies.

*Waves* BaiBai

Chibiohimesama